Sickness is a defense against the truth.
ACIM
My arm is bothering me to some degree. I think it is meant to be for the learning. :)
I had told myself after my ER visit that I would not allow the discomfort to get me down...I would agree that it is just soft tissue injury and thus move and use my arm despite the pain certain movements cause. I have done that. Now that the swelling is going down and the muscle is relaxing enough for me to actually palpate the bone effectively...I am feeling what may be some "abnormalities". The pain, instead of easing is the same or possibly worse, especially when I touch those spots where the abnormalities are. Something is going on in there.
To add insult to injury, as I was getting out of the lawn chair yesterday...I and it fell backwards onto the ground. The chair folded up around me accordion style and the arm of which slapped me right in the sore spot. It was probably a very funny scene to witness but Don knew better than to take out his phone to videotape me. My swear words were probably warning him of the consequences. :)
I awoke this morning definitely feeling "it" more intensely. What is this "it" I am feeling? According to ACIM, it could be nothing more than a defense I am creating against the truth.
WTF (front door) are you talking about?
I know...all this talk about Truth and Self...defense and attack... may sound like mumbo jumbo to many of you. It may be flying over your heads or feel like banana peelings under your feet. You may be inspired by it...or you may be entertained by "the ridiculousness of it" or even insulted by it. You may get it or you may be thinking , "There is something really wrong with this woman!" That will all depend on where you are in your own understanding of waking up. If you are not there...it will indeed just be crazy talk to you...feel free to laugh, or sign off. :) I am okay with that. If, however, it reminds you of a bit of truth you may have inside...please read on.
Learning from Twisted Limbs
Illness and injury according to a Course in Miracles, like time are defenses ego creates and uses to prevent us from understanding the Truth of who we are. As long as I feel physical pain and I focus on that pain...I am identifying my self with the body. I believe I am this body and what happens to it is actually happening to me. Thus is your true identity preserved, and the strange, haunting thought that you might be something beyond this little pile of dust silenced and stilled. For see, this dust can make you suffer, twist your limbs and stop your heart, commanding you to die and cease to be. (ACIM W-136:8:4-5) I forget who I really am when my limbs get twisted.:)
Ego (the unhealed mind) wants us reminded of the body, feeling it, and identified with it. It wants us thinking we are the body. So it creates sickness, injury and death. Physical pain puts us back in body focus. As we get closer to knowing who we are, ego gets frightened. It wants to pull us back and away from that Truth into 'physical world' things. Illness and injury become wonderful excuses. If we stay there in them, we do not have to experience the loss of the world we create in our minds and have become so pathologically attached to. We may use pain, illness, injury as excuses for not going farther into our Self discovery. Sickness is a decision....It is a choice you make, a plan you lay, when for an instant truth arises in your own deluded mind, and all your world appears to totter and prepare to fall. Now you are sick, that truth may go away and threaten your establishment no more. (ACIM-W-136: 7:1,3-4)
Isn't it ironic?
Isn't ironic, that as I was getting closer to discovering this Truth and feeling frightened of it...I have this fall where I actually felt I was being pushed down? Isn't it ironic that I had to deal with very real visually validated pain just as I was reaching these lessons in A Course? ? There was a 24 hour period since the fall where all I thought of was my arm and whether or not it was broken. I was, for the first time in a long time, very, very body focused. I actually questioned, during that time, if all this waking up stuff was nothing more than a bunch of crap. :)
I see the irony now as I read this lesson.
Healing
What will my healing entail? An x-ray to be sure there is no fracture? A splint or cast to immobilize? I don't know. That may or may not be necessary to help the arm to heal but it is definitely not what is needed in true healing. Understanding what sickness and injury are is the first step into healing. No one can heal unless he understands what purpose sickness seems to serve. for then he understands as well its purpose has no meaning. Being causeless and without a meaningful intent of any kind, it cannot be at all. When this is seen healing is automatic. (ACIM-W-136:1:1-3)
I got it! I am not my body or what happens to it. It is here to serve me, I am not here to serve it. I will be where I want to be when I don't feel the body at all...when I do not feel ill or well...when I don't feel pain or relief from it...when I don't feel the body at all Hmm! Man...I always tend to do my learning the hard way. :)
All is well.
References.
ACIM(2007) Workbook for Students. A Course in Miracles: Combined Volume. Third Edition. Mill Valley: Foundations for Inner Peace.
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