Letting Go to Illness

Acceptance doesn't mean resignation.  It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it.
-Michael J. Fox (https://www.pinterest.ca/kristiebetl/quotes-for-surviving-chronic-disease/)

Succumbing to Illness

Hmm!  None of us like to be sick....regardless of the so called secondary gains that may arise from illness: Time off work or responsibility, the possibility of being pampered or at least having an excuse to pamper self, and  the slowing down of a busy life that is sure to happen if we do get sick.  These things are not going to make any of us sign up for illness, are they? No one wants to be sick!  It sucks.

The Emotional Process of Illness

So whether you are experiencing the first tell tale signs of an acute illness like the flu  or suffering another pain filled day of a chronic illness...your reaction is probably going to be one of resistance. We tend to begin by denying it, "No!  This can't be happening now or again!  I have too much to do!" 

Then it may be followed by a need to "suck it up", push past and pretend it isn't happening.  What happens when we do that?  Well we tend to feel worse and find ourselves even more incapacitated.

After that we may dip into shame and guilt, "What is wrong with me?  Why am I such a wimp?  I should be able to get past this.  Look at all the work I am doing to counter this illusion of illness. I should be able to get above this. Besides I am not near as sick as some people who keep going.  Man...I am such a failure and  I am letting down so many people because I can't suck it up!"

After shame and guilt we may experience anger.  "Damn this illness for ruining my day, my week, my life!  Why did I have to get this...it isn't fair!!!"

This is usually followed by good old frustration where many chronic illness sufferers spend most of their emotional energy and where the acute illness sufferers may step briefly before they recover.

So whether we are aware of it or not we are moving up the scale to feeling better emotionally in our attempt to cope with this illness that has stepped into our lives, making itself known for the first time or for the 100th time. The goal for all people who perceive "illness" then is to get up to acceptance and then beyond on the emotional ladder.


How to get beyond acceptance?

Remembering the  wisdom expressed in A Course of Miracles may help. "When a brother is sick it is because he is not asking for peace, and therefore does not know he has it.  The acceptance of peace is the denial of illusion, and sickness is an illusion." (ACIM, Chapter 10: III: 7: 1-2)

Say What crazy lady?

Believe me, I know it is hard to accept that illness is an illusion when you are fevered with a sore throat;  every muscle in your body aches and the mere thought of food makes you want to run to the bathroom...but I think our challenge exists because we are below acceptance of our illness "now."  Right now you may feel as I do...like crap!  But that is just right now...once I accept that that is my experience  now, I can get through it and beyond it. Once we get to acceptance we will see that we have a choice between Love and Fear.

We need to choose Love

I love this quote from Oprah Winfrey that resonates with the teachings of A Course in Miracles and what I have spoke about in previous blogs and videos.

I believe every single event in life happens as an opportunity to choose love over fear. (https://www.pinterest.ca/kristiebetl/quotes-for-surviving-chronic-disease/)

So you get sick or experience another flare up of a chronic illness and you are wondering what possible good can come from this. Simple! It provides you with a an opportunity to choose.  We can choose to stay in fear or step into Love.  Every time we have a choice we are empowered and that alone should make us feel better.

That choice begins with climbing to acceptance.  Accepting, as Michael J Fox states  in the above quote, is understanding that something is what it is.  I add to that, "right now".  We need to accept that we are perceiving and experiencing "illness" right now.  It does not mean by any reason that we have to stay there nor do we need to slip back into fear and beat ourselves up for being there! We just need to find our way through it!

We head in the direction of Love.

Where do we go from there?

To peace.  Make peace with your experience and let it go.  Make peace with the fact that you are still learning and learning is a process that takes repeated practice and error to master. 

We can get to that reality that illness does not exist but only when we climb up the emotional ladder as high as we can go, one ladder rung at a time.  Keep climbing, especially if you feel sick and perceive the company of illness in your life....right now. Head towards Love.

That being said, I am going back to bed lol.  I felt so compelled to come out and write this down.  Now I am more willing to accept this something for what it is...right now...and to pamper me as best as I can until the learning is cemented in my subconscious which probably won't be during this bug.

Someday I will truly understand just how much of an illusion illness is. It is okay that it is not today. I feel better just thinking that.

It is all good!  All is well in my world!