Healing with Thought Change

Relax, let go, allow and recognize that some of your desires are about how you think your world should be, rather than how it is in that moment.  Become an astute observer...judge less and listen more."
Wayne w. Dyer

Healing Begins With Understanding Our Thinking

I honestly believe we can heal so much of our life by changing the way we think.  Wayne Dyer (one of my favorite mentors), using the Principles of the Tao Te Ching, wrote a wonderful book about this amazing possibility.  We can change our lives by changing how we think. (Dyer; 2009). 

Dr. Dyer was not the only teacher who helped me to understand the power of the mind. There are too many to mention here but in my video I referred to a few of my greatest motivators. Norman Vincent Peale also explained, so simply and beautifully, how powerful our thinking is and how we, if we choose to think positively, can live amazing lives. (Prentice-Hall; 1952).  His teachings spurred me on to a life long interest in understanding our cognitive processes. I also mentioned how as a psychology student I focused a great deal on the area of "cognitive restructuring" and was fascinated by the work of Albert Ellis and Aaron Beck. 


A Review of what was Discussed in the Video

I just want to reiterate what I spoke about in my practice video posted on yesterday's site. I do not yet have the know how or technology to put text or learning visuals on these videos  to better demonstrate my point so I will do it here. (If I decide to take the videos more seriously, I will find a way to master that. For now you get more blogging.:))

The Thinking Process

This is how I see the thinking process working.  Of course I had to slow the process down because most of the time  we go from the trigger to a positive or negative experience of life without being consciously aware of what is going on in between those steps. It seems like we go right from Step 1- step 6,  like a knee-jerk reaction.  Something in life shows up and the next thing we know life seems good or life seems bad. 

In truth, however, this is a process that involves many steps.  If we slow it down and trace our steps backward we can determine why life appears the way it does to us.

1.  Starts with a trigger...usually an observation of some environmental factor.  We encounter something outside ourselves that begins the process.  It could be something positive like an unexpected cheque in the mail box; or something not so positive...like an unexpected bill in the mail.  
2. This leads automatically to a thought: Though we may not be consciously aware of all of it at the time a thought intertwined with belief will pop into our heads.  If  you see the cheque the thought might be: "Oh My!  What a pleasant surprise.  Life is shining on me!  I must be deserving of blessing." If you see the bill, the thought might be: "Oh No! What a rotten surprise.  Life is always raining on me!  I must be undeserving of anything but punishment. "
3. The thought will automatically be followed by an emotional experience.  The thought of life blessing you and being deserving of such blessings is more than likely going to make you feel good.  Right?   You may feel  relieved, satisfied, safe, peaceful,  happy, joyful, ecstatic...travelling up the emotional ladder. The thought of being punished by life because you do not deserve more is likely going to make you feel less than good.  You may go from feeling accepting of your plight, to feeling frustrated, blaming, angry, worried, anxious, or full of despair as you thump down the ladder rungs, one at a time. You won't feel good. 
4. The feeling may lead to a Physical sensation or feeling.  If you are feeling happy as you hold the cheque in your hands and think those positive thoughts...your body may feel open, energetic. You may find yourself smiling, laughing or jumping up and down.  If on the other hand, you felt "sad" over the thought of not being deserving of the good things in life, "anxious" over the "lack" in your life and/or worried about  how you are going to cope as you hold yet another reminder of your unworthiness in the form of a bill, your physical experience will be different. You may find yourself frowning, scowling, feeling sick to your stomach, tired, shaky, bringing your hand to your face, tensing up and curling forward to protect the most vulnerable parts of self that suddenly feel exposed to the unfairness of life.
5. Here we may make a behavioral choice.  If you are feeling good you are likely to do things that make you feel even better...like smile at the people you meet on the  way home, hug your dog when she comes to greet you, call someone and share the good news, do something good for someone else, celebrate life, and express gratitude and appreciation. When you think good thoughts you tend to think more good thoughts. If you don't feel so good physically or emotionally what do you tend to do? You may shoot someone a dirty look on the way home; curse yourself for your stupidity; fail to wave or acknowledge the people you encounter.  You may push the dog aside ignoring or even growling at him for his desire to please you,.  You may collect more grievances to prove that life is indeed always raining on you. You may call someone to "complain" looking to validate or share your misery with the world. You may snap at those who do not understand how hard you have it, and you may be less than friendly or kind to others or yourself. When you think bad thoughts you tend to think more bad thoughts! Though it may not seem like it at the time, every behaviour you use here is a choice!
6. 'Life' responds.  Isn't it obvious that the more you are open, smiling , giving, appreciating, celebrating  the more you are going to enjoy life and the more life is going to enjoy you?  People will respond to your behaviour which vibrates your  happiness, your joy in like minded ways.  Others will want to be around you.  Others will even mimic your behaviour,  spreading even more happiness around.  Things will work out for you.  The world will be brighter, kinder and more supportive of you. Life will indeed shine down on you! Well...if you are choosing to  growl, snap,  complain, be unkind, stay stuck in the negativity by looking for reasons to be...life will not appear to be shining on you.  In fact, it will continue to rain on you until you walk away from the dark cloud inside your head.  

How to Walk Away From the Rain to the Sun

I believe the most important thing we can do to change our life experience if it is anything but positive  is to go back to Step 2 to change our thinking. If we become aware of our thoughts and change those thoughts so we feel better, we then change our emotional experience, our physical experience and our behavioural choices.  Our lives  then will change!

Our experience of life is  a product of our emotional energy ( Step 3) and a consequence of  our behavioral choices (Step 5). Obviously we need to take responsibility for our feelings and behaviours  by being more aware of them.  If we change our thoughts these should naturally change as well.

Step 4 is  great step to evaluate if we want to see where our emotional energies are headed and where we are headed in terms of our health and healing.  Blocked emotional energy in this step creates physiological changes in our body.

More to Come!

I will speak more to how we change our thoughts in upcoming blogs.  For now I encourage you to be aware of this six step process as it occurs in your life. It really can make a difference!

All is well in my world!



References and Recommended Reading/Viewing

Dyer, Wayne. W.(2009) Change Your Thoughts-Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao. Hay House

Holmes, Kathleen (n.d.) Aaron Beck, Albert Ellis and Cognitive Psychology. Psychology .info. Retrieved from http://psychology.info/aaron-beck-albert-ellis-and-cognitive-psychology/

Peale, Norman Vincent (1952) The Power of Positive Thinking. First Edition. Prentice-Hall (Since been republished many times...it would be easy to find a newer edition :)) th