Thursday, August 31, 2017

Oh Those Darn Emotions: A Little More on Healing

You only have so much emotional energy each day.  Don't fight battles that don't matter.
Joel Olsteen

Don't fight battles...don't cling to that emotion/energy...don't stuff it...don't deny it...just let it be.  Recognize it, determine what thought pattern it came from...add a new thought that makes you feel better...you don't have to feel great, just better....and let the emotion go.

Sounds simple, doesn't it?

Well it ain't! lol

It is, however, essential to healing....true healing.  Whether it is a physical disorder, a mental health issue or a crisis in faith that is showing up in your life, it is there to show you that you have some emotional energy jammed up somewhere...blocking the sweet, abundant flow of life in you and through you.  Ask yourself, "What's up?" wait for an answer.  Know that the ailment that presents itself is just a symptom of the emotional energy, and the emotional energy is a symptom of a thought pattern, and a thought pattern is a symptom of a conditioned way of being...If you get to the source of the blockage ...life will flow freely again.

Just let it go!

All is well in my world.

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.
Albert Einstein

 
I love looking deep into nature.  That is why I like to photograph.  I have been looking for some great hummingbird shots this summer, like I was able to get a couple of summers ago...but my looking into nature did not allow for the greatest shots.  :)  Ego wants me to rationalize here by saying, "Do you have any idea how challenging it is to get a shot of something with that quick of a wing movement?  It is not my fault!"  
 
Oh ego...shut up!  I didn't get great shots because I was not "there" enough :).  I wasn't chosen lol.  It is all good.
 
I would sit outside in front of the feeder, waiting with my camera set at what I think would be the right aperture and shutter speed.  I would listen for the buzzing flutter of their wings and position myself accordingly...but it wouldn't matter unless...nature said, "It's time!" lol.  She said instead, "Go ahead but I am only reluctantly agreeing to sit still for you until you sit still more!" lol 
 
I will accept her reluctant participation with gratitude.  It is all good! 

Monday, August 28, 2017

It's All Good!

Sometimes I just have to stop myself in the midst of my questioning so I can look around...so I can see and remember just how good it all is! All of it!

 
Who says you need to sit still in a room alone? 

Sunday, August 27, 2017

By learning you will teach; by teaching you will learn.
Latin Proverb


I am obsessed with a need to explain this healing thing  so that I can understand it.  I have always learned better through teaching; and taught better through learning.  To me, the two go hand in hand.

  I know so little...the more I learn the more I realize that, and ironically the more I realize that, the more I feel this need to share what I am learning.  How crazy is that? I want to share the little I learned rather than waiting to know more and than teaching what I know for sure.  That method does not work for me because I figure I will never know for sure lol.

Anyway, words can do so little.  I read so much and I absorb everything I read but those words  are just pointers (as Eckhart Tolle calls them) that lead inward.  To me, the wisdom I get from others are like keys that open a door to understanding already in me...I simply remember.

Anyway, it is all good.  I will get back to you as I remember more.  If it triggers a memory in you...great!  If it doesn't...that is okay too.  It is all good.

All is well in my world.

Saturday, August 26, 2017

What is Healing?


The good physician treats the disease; the great physician treats the person who has the disease.
William Osler 

This look at holistic healing is consuming me because I am not sure I am articulating clearly enough to enhance my own understanding. It's still all about me and my understanding, isn't it?  lol.

I guess what I wanted to say is healing occurs with the most general of diagnosis, with wholeness and at a much deeper level than can be understood by our limited mindsets.

The Most General of Diagnosis

We do not need to be so specific in the cause of our issues. We really do not need to make distinctions at the cellular level, the organ level, the system level, the physical organism level( the body) vs the mind or spirit level, the individual human level, the humanity level, the being level, the  planet level etc etc etc.

If we or anything in this universe are experiencing anything but the perfect flow of energy, peace and joy that all life is meant to experience...we need healing.  It doesn't matter if you call the resistance problem through a diagnosis... cancer or rheumatoid arthritis.  It doesn't matter if you call it schizophrenia or a border line personality disorder.  It doesn't matter if you call it sin or a crisis in faith...we have a problem that needs healing.

Healing is healing and it involves absolutely everything.  So why do we need to break the thing that needs healing down into tiny sections that we can label and diagnose as being the  problem?

Say what, crazy lady?

I am still stuck on breaking down problems under specific labels and diagnosis's . I still have a tendency to break down my life issues into spiritual, mental/emotional or physical.

In the physical realm I subdivide again...and see my physical problems of pain and a lack of energy  as following under one of three body system issues: gynecological, muscular skeletal and cardiac.

Now I was professionally trained indirectly using the  medical model.  I became obsessed with a need for one clear and specific diagnosis to explain my health issues.  I knew if I did not have one, I would  not receive the social respect, assistance and support required to accommodate my life.  I would not be validated.  I wanted that validation. I thought I needed it. I thought I needed that specification.





Wholeness

I now know that a medical diagnosis that is clear and succinct will not  heal me.  It will lead simply to a band aid being put over one of the many lesions which is merely a symptom of a systemic disease.  By systemic, I mean whole system not body system.

My cardiac condition, my muscular condition, and my gynecological condition are just symptoms of a greater disease. My body "malfunctioning" is just a symptom of a greater disease.  Any thing my whole being registers as "unhealthy" is just a symptom of a greater disease.  Any problems within humanity simply is a symptom of a greater disease.

And by disease, I mean: Dis-Ease.

Are you getting that?



Resistance

What is this greater disease? It is resistance...resistance to the truth of who we are, what life is, from where we came and what is possible for us.  Resistance causes physical pain, cell destruction, fatigue, blocked energy, depression and spiritual deprivation. It causes what we know as disease: dis-ease.

It doesn't matter where it manifests or how it manifests...if we are not living, expanding fully...if our world is not expanding with us...than we are resisting something.

The Taoist leader Lao Tzu called the flow of life, "the way" and felt that all problems arose because of our resistance to it.

"Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them.  That only causes sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in any way they like."

Letting Go

Healing is letting go of resistance.  If I want to fix my heart and my muscles, my thinking,  my feeling, or my lack of spiritual connection...I simply need to stop resisting...to let go and let life flow through me.

I am not so sure how to do that yet. So I will get back to you lol.

All is well.

Check out:

The Tao Te Ching...chapter 46




Thursday, August 24, 2017

Beware: Ego Clings!

Drop the negativity that your mind has created about the situation and that serves no purpose whatsoever except to strengthen the false sense of self.
Eckhart Tolle

Ego Clings!

I was very sad yesterday!  And I was embarrassed, ashamed and angry at myself for being sad. 

I could observe myself sitting at a staff meeting suddenly feeling all discombobulated, confused, surprised and yes...ashamed of the feelings that were suddenly overwhelming my experience. I told myself, from this wise place I was somehow stepping away from, that it was all just another ego inflammation and it will pass.

Ego Stings!

But it was so hard not to feel the sting of it...to disconnect from the sad tale of woe ego was whispering in my ear ( not literally lol)  making me the main character, someone to pity, someone who has a right to be resentful.... someone I don't want to be!

Memory after memory, thought after thought popped into my head reminding me of my fall from a position of being respected, valued, a controlling and meaningful force in this ego dominated world to what was perceived as nothing but a second thought in people's minds.

 I looked around the table at all the smiling and kind  faces and realized they have no idea how much I lost or what I am going through and they do not want to know because they really, really do not "have time" to care. Nor should they be filling their head with my perceived problems (which actually just became "problems" as I sat there allowing ego to spin its little web). Why was I focusing on their reaction to my story?

My story, "other" story  just gets in the way of what we have to do, does it not? It will get in the way of their ego needs.  This is the way of the work place life.  This is the way of our busy world.  This is the way of an ego dominated society. People do not have "time" to think too much about each other.  It was a very sad realization and it floored me.  Ego wanted me to feel sad!

I succumbed.  I felt good and sorry for myself lol.


Ego Remembers its Losses!

I had the sense to know that this sudden trip down self-pity lane was totally irrational and unhealthy.  I couldn't understand why I was there...right where I left off in June...but there I was.

I asked myself while I sat there: Why am I so sad?  Why am I thinking of all these experiences?  Just to explain why I was feeling what I am feeling?  Why am I so hurt just because people do not "seem" to care about me the way I expected them to care? I don't want them focusing on my problems because I don't want to focus on them...so why am I feeling so dejected? I am further advanced than this aren't I?  Should I not be beyond all this ego stuff in the waking up process? 

I was so confused and could only understand that I was thinking and feeling loss.

What I perceived I lost in the work place environment : my physical ability to do my job, my job in terms of the courses I loved to teach and felt I shined at, my puffed up ego status, my reputation, recognition, other trust in my integrity (that was a big one for me), consideration from others in my time of need, three quarters of my salary, my financial stability, my license and title as a nurse because of my lack of hours...were really nothing...no thing....They do not make me.  They do not define me.  They are not me!  I know that in the core of me. 

Ego Grieves!

So why then do I grieve it all so when I walk through those doors?  Why does my ego get so inflamed when I am surrounded by my team...people who are all kind and good...who are not even aware of my experience? Because they aren't aware of my experience?

I grieve the loss of that feeling of being valued, cared for, "seen". I miss knowing that I fit in. (or believing I did :)) Without my ego identification, I don't know my value and my worth to others anymore.  Even though it was only ego value before...I miss not having it.

Others seem okay with that because they do not want to have to bump into anything "heavy" as they busy through their work hours, anyway.  I am a reminder of life's heaviness. It is best to keep it all hidden away.  That is the way of our world. I understand that

Oh my...how does that sound for a whingey tale of drama lol?

No one is doing anything wrong.  It just is what it is.  I just had expectations of my false self that were not realistic.  That's all.

I had expectations of my ability to keep up in ego's world when I wasn't meant to.  That's all.

I just had expectations of other people and my work relations that were not realistic :) .  That's all.

 I had expectations of my work environment that were not realistic.  That's all. 

And life had some lessons for me.  It wanted to show me how I was putting my mental and physical energy on the unrealistic rather than the real. That's all.

My life is no one's 'problem' but my own.  My feelings are no one's responsibility but my own.  :) And they are only "problems' if I choose to make them so.

Ego Questions!

As I sat there I wondered about staying. I questioned if this ego inflammation was good for my health?   I still do.  Is it worth pushing myself  beyond my presently perceived limitations in an  environment that reminds me of loss?  That triggers my ego slips so dramatically?

Ultimately, Ego is no Match For Spirit!

I was going to get up from that table yesterday but something stopped me.  I heard a little voice in my head saying.."What a wonderful learning opportunity for you to do what you need to do...get beyond the ego, get control of your thoughts and feelings, find peace and compassion in a situation that does not seem peaceful externally. If you master this lesson, you got it made!"

"Besides...how are you going to pay your damn mortgage if you don't?"  lol

Moral of this big long boring story:

 Spiritually: Waking up is not always an instantaneous leap from ego to joy.  The ego is tenacious...it clings.  It will get inflamed from time to time.  We will slip into our thinking as I did yesterday. We can feed each slip with more negativity or we can get beyond it. 

I want to get beyond it. The fact that we can be aware of ego when it is acting up is an amazing thing.  It shows me that I am waking up...I just have a way to go yet.  :)

Psychologically speaking: We also need to grieve our losses...all of them...even the "unreal" ego ones.  Supressing and repressing them will only lead to them popping up out of the blue every now and again. Grieve them and be done with them.

Though I haven't a clue how, I have to grieve my perceived losses and unreal expectations so I can release them.

I know where I want to go.  I know who I want to be.  It isn't that narcissistic, negative, dramatic , self pitying false self I was yesterday.  My ego, my life circumstances, and my environment do not define me.  I do.

It is all good.

All is well in my world.

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

A little more on the topic of healing...

I can't let this go! lol

I am not saying that there is no place for specifics, no place for medicine or no place for surgical intervention (disassembling)...I am just saying we need to prioritize the whole when we think of "healing." 

We all need to look at the person as whole and not a form  broken in specific areas.  There is something unseen that keeps us whole and keeps us connected to each other, all beings and life, right?

Whatever you label this force that allows your heart to beat, your lungs to expand, your muscles to move as...you must understand by now that something inside you is allowing all this to happen.  That it is the same something in me, and the man down the block and the cat on your lap and the birds outside your window??? Even if you have physical abilities, limbs, organs, memory, cognitive ability, feelings, pieces of your so called identity removed from you...you are still whole, right?  Wholeness occurs at a deeper level than can be understood using our five senses.

This Life- force, universal- force, God-force, field, energy field...whatever it is... is what brought you here and you are an intricate, miraculously composed, and technologically advanced creation. Every function in your body, for example, is expertly designed and cannot be the result of some random mutations.  What created you and What powers you has to be pretty amazing stuff, right? It has to be pretty powerful, pretty wise, pretty capable of providing and ensuring wellness. Don't you think?

When we notice that our bodies, our minds, our emotions are not working at 100% why do we automatically assume that something outside us is responsible...that this force that brought us into being is not working for us or through us...is not capable of preventing that something in this big bad world from causing a random malfunctioning in this perfect design?  Why do we look at it as a malfunctioning, in the first place?  Why can we not see how we are resisting the truth of what is?

I am a bit sleep deprived and challenged with words this morning so I may not be saying what I want to say.

I guess, what I wanted to say is: it is all good. We just need to trust this force within us (which I call God btw) to do the healing....and the healing comes when we know we are not broken and never were. This level of knowing, however, is something few of us will reach in this lifetime.  We may catch glimpses of that truth but we will remain stuck in the laws of the physical world as long as our minds are...we will succumb to "diseases" that this life force that runs through us does not recognize as being real, but some "perception" brought on by a disconnect to our energy flows. 

In physicality, without our tapping into this knowing, physicians provide an amazing service.  We need them to diagnose us, sometimes targeting specific cells, and we need them to prescribe medicine, treatment or to remove diseased parts.  Their role is valuable and much appreciated.

In the ideal world of our  knowing who we are and from whom we came, things could be different. If we could get to that ultimate knowing, however, their roles would be obsolete...because we would heal by simply letting go of all resistance that keeps us from being what we were designed to be. We would not look to beings outside ourselves...we would heal ourselves.

Need to rush off!  I will try to make my point clearer the next time. 

All is well.

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Healing: Letting Go of Resistance

No matter how much it gets abused, the body can restore balance.  The first rule is to stop interfering with nature.
Deepak Chopra


Another day of recovery for me so I am a little slow on the draw.  :) 

Been experiencing a lot of the pelvic pain again over the last 48...keeping me up at night, pacing etc.  I want to take this pain experience into my understanding of the difference between the over-specification and the generalization of wellness or lack of.

The Specific Diagnosis for a Lack of Wellness

"Peri-menopausal exacerbation of Chronic Deep Infiltrating Endometriosis with a growing chocolate cyst left ovary,"  is how I would diagnosis my condition  if I were doing the specializing and division thing.  Of course, in order to diagnosis this way if I were a Gyne,  I would have to do laparoscopic examination  to view and dissect and remove tissue to determine the validity of this diagnosis...which we are not going to do.  Menopause and the expected end to this problem is too close to bother with all that nonsense. (I just know without doubt this is what it is.)

Of course I am not qualified to make any medical diagnosis' or even agree or disagree with a medical diagnosis...I did not mean to allude otherwise in this or other posts.  I also do not want to bore you with the details of my health issues. Just trying to make a point.

Let's Take Steps to Generalize

I could remove some of the specification and make a more generalized diagnosis: pelvic pain due to a gynecological condition.

From there I could generalize a bit more to encompass the body as a whole: physical fatigue, aggravation of other physical conditions  and discomfort related to pelvic pain

From there I could generalize further: pain and fatigue leading to a sense of being physically unwell.

From there I could take it to: inability to think clearly and positively, to feel peppy, happy and energetic, or to be spiritually present due to physical focus.

Finally, further into generalization: a sense of being less than well due to a blockage of Source energy flow. Imagine seeing that diagnosis on a medical chart lol, but is that not ultimately what it is?

To me, these are all accurate diagnosis' (some of them are nursing diagnosis,' btw, so I can get away with creating them lol) .  Yet they are all going to lead to different solutions and modes of healing, are they not?  Which one, then, will determine the ultimate healing?

What Diagnosis will Lead to Fixing the Problem?

Let's just look at the two ends of the spectrum to answer this question. What will lead to ultimate healing: the very specialized form of diagnosing or the very generalized?

From the Specific:

If I were to accept the first diagnosis (that I have given myself btw...lol). I would have dissected the physical from the entire being, the yin from the yang within me, the reproductive system from all other systems in my body and the endometrial cells from all other cells.  I would accept a very "specific" something at the "specific" cellular level as the source of my problem with being well.

That diagnostic solution   will involve cutting into my body, removing pieces of tissue and organs in order to rectify the problem. The endometriosis will not go away...it will, until I finally hit full menopause, just keep building up somewhere else.  The pain might temporarily go after I endure six weeks of post operative recovery but unless all reproductive tissue (which can be, by the migrating tendency of endometriosis, anywhere in the body by now) is removed that will never be a guarantee.

With patience and time, however, nature will fix this problem on her own. When estrogen, progesterone, LH, and FSH finally subside with the natural aging process...menopause...these cells will no longer be fed, will no longer bleed or cause problems related to the bleeding.

Scientifically, the  above diagnosis makes absolute sense to me.  It explains the scientific cause of my pain.  I see it.  I understand it.  It is very logical.

It does not, however, lead to healing. And it is healing that I want more than a diagnosis.

To the General:

What about the last diagnosis: A sense of being unwell due to a blockage of Source Energy?  Does it sound like a bunch of woo-woo nonsense to you? Quackery?

When I look at that with my scientific mind that was trained in nursing under the medical model...it looks like quackery.  It is too general to make sense to me. Yet when I think of it in terms of its healing potential ...I say, "Yes!  That's it!"

If we  remove all the  specifics in healing and see it simply as a letting go of  resistance to  a natural, inherent flow of wellness that is always flowing through us because we are just extensions of what Einstein called " the field" and others called "Source energy" ...then this diagnosis should make sense. 

All pain, all so called illness whether it be physical, mental or emotional is simply resistance to what is.  We unknowingly block that energy with our resistance.  We block the grace, the ease, the peace that we are meant to feel with our resistance.  The resistance is simply the "dis" in front of the "ease" that is our birthright. If we knew that ...truly knew it...we were never be sick.

Bruce Lipton, in his wonderful book, The Biology of Belief(2005) shows evidence of how we know that even at the cellular level but allow ego and others outside ourselves convince us otherwise..  My misbehaving endometrial cells know that I am wellness and that balance, healing and restoration are mine once I believe it to be true in my mind.

These "specific" cells may misbehave to get my attention but it wouldn't matter if it was these cells or my myocardial cells acting up.  It wouldn't matter if it was my mind, emotions or body taking me from spirit. We do not need to get that specific.  Discomfort, pain, what we call "illness" is simply  a means of communication  that reminds us that we are resisting this beautiful and divine energy from flowing through our lives.  That's all.

The above diagnosis is not saying we are unwell...we simply have a sense...a belief or ego interpretation that we are unwell...we have that because we are blocking Source Energy with our resistance. 

That general diagnosis above leads to healing. It leads to healing of not just one minor physical issue but absolutely everything!  By accepting it, it heals everything! How amazing is that? I choose the general over the specific.

I love this quote from Deepak Chopra, a medical doctor who sees the "whole" and "general" picture.:
Soul loss is regarded as the most serious diagnosis and the single  greatest  cause of premature death or serious illness by the traditionals, and it is not even mentioned in medical texts.

Where to go from Here?

I know so little. I am not sure how to let go of resistance.  I don't even know where and how I am resisting.  Right now...it is enough for me to know that I am and that is the source of my perception of a wellness problem. 

I am well.  I have always been well.  I will always be well but somehow I am resisting the energy that is wellness. Are you?

I will figure the rest out eventually.

All is well in my world.

References and recommended readings:

Lipton, Bruce. (2005) The Biology of Belief. Authors Pub Corp

Chopra, Deepak...absolutely everything he has ever written :)

Sunday, August 20, 2017

The Impact of Over-Division: A look at the Medical model

Health is a state of the body.  Wellness is a state of being.
J. Standford


Healing the Three Parts of Self

If we are wanting to heal, we likely perceive we have something to heal from.  In our western culture we have a tendency to divide our "brokenness"  into three separate compartments: spirit, mind and body.  If we need to heal the spirit...we seek a spiritual healer or counsellor; if we need to heal the mind we seek the help of a psychological healer ( a counsellor, psychologist or psychiatrist) and if we believe we need to heal the body we often seek the help of a physician.

The Divisional Tendency of Medicine

When we seek the help of medicine we divide even further...we can then begin to divide the body into sections and specialities.

Medicine dissects the body from the mind and spirit, the systems from the organism, the organs from the systems, the tissues from the organs and the cells from the tissues to get to the root of the problem ...it disassembles the whole ( in a sense breaking it up) in order to fix it and make it whole again.  Does that make sense?

My Own over Specification Experience

I spent years trying to get a "specific" diagnosis, to determine what "specific" organ in a "specific" organ system was malfunctioning in my body, and what "specific" part of that organ was not doing it's job correctly and even went down to what "specific" cells.  I was so desperate to get to a "specific" solution to my health issue that I willingly went from one division to another...I went from general practice, to internal medicine, to cardiology and than to several sub specialities within the cardiology field. 

There was a "minor" issue discovered by each sub speciality involving different "specific functionings" of my heart.  Because the specialities were so divided...none of these little issues were examined as a whole...they were not put together in one package.  One speciality only saw the mitral valve issue, one saw the coronary vasospasm, one saw the inappropriate tachycardia, one saw the bradycardia, one saw the  atrial flutter(irregular heart rhythm)  and one saw the dyskinesia(abnormal movement) on the right ventricle...each thing by itself was so minor it was passed off as insignificant and not a valid cause for my perception of limited energy.  Each sub speciality did not see  what the other sub speciality saw.


Each sub speciality...then...made the conclusion. "If this minor cardiac anomaly that I picked up  is not responsible for such complaints of physical limitation...there must be something broken elsewhere in the patient leading to such complaints...likely the mental dimension.   Her illness then most likely is mental rather than physical.Therefore this is not my problem to solve." The file gets closed.

It is amazing how quickly  information  about a person's assumed  "defective nature" gets communicated from one speciality to another when the objective facts don't lol.

I am not putting down or judging the specialities.  I am just trying to make a point as to where we are going with this division. I understand the mind sets to some degree but by breaking the heart into pieces and into different "specific" functions these subspecialties' do not see the whole. They do not see how cardiac functioning will be impacted when all the so called insignificant things are put together.  They only allow themselves to see what their eyes are trained to see.  If they do not see the whole, communication as a whole team is fractured.  The less specialized field of cardiology just hears that everything is insignificant from each subspecialty therefore she must have other issues.  Internal medicine passes it off as insignificant and general practice, if it is so inclined, can do the same.  (Luckily for me that wasn't the case.)

The Impact of No-Wholeness


The impact of the wholeness of the cardiac complaints on the patient's life then gets diminished...the physical limitations do not get viewed in terms of  how they impinge on the whole of the person ( financially, professionally, mentally, emotionally as well as physically etc).  The person's holistic limitations do not get viewed as to how they impact a social network ( family {with diagnosed or non-diagnosed cardiac conditions}, community, work force).  The impact of communities with individuals that are not well do not get viewed in terms of how they impact society as a whole and from there the human race as a whole and from there all beings as a whole.  It goes on and on...all because  we need to be so specific...to dissect and divide the whole.

We do not need to be so specific then...maybe that is not the answer.  Maybe the medical model is one of those things we revere and accept that should actually be questioned.  Maybe we need to stop assuming that healing will occur with scalpels ( the real and proverbial kinds) and start trying to heal with sutures  that sew people back into a whole picture.

I am not putting down physicians...I am just being honest about the mental paradigm they are trained under. I appreciate and value what they do and what they did for me but I think we need a little bit less dissection and divison and a little more "wholeness' in our approach to wellness.  Don't you?

Hmm!  But that wholeness doesn't start with "changing and fixing" the ideologies of allopathic medicine.

 It starts with us and how we divide our own beingness into three separate parts.  We need to start looking at the mind, body and spirit as one integrated being.  That is where wholeness will start. There is where true healing will start.  That is where the knowing that we are and always were well will start.



Hmm! Some food for thought.

All is well in my world.


.

Energy, Healing and Resistance

Be the energy you want others to absorb.
A.D. Posey

Oh My!  Another series of thoughts begin in my mind therefore another series of posts will be written here. Oh how this questioning thing inspires ideas, allows for creation and drives one completely batty!  lol

I have been thinking. 

Here, I write and speak about getting beyond thinking...and yet...those 60,000 thoughts keep churning in my head.  I call this inspired thinking  though...different from the churning of tired old repetitive  and negative thoughts that take up so much of our mental energy.  These inspired thoughts feed us with energy...take us to higher places...allow for expansion through creation.  (Well that is how I rationalize it anyway :))

So I have been thinking about healing, energy and the only thing in life that prevents healing...resistance. There is so much I want to understand as I seek healing...so much I want to pass on to others as I learn.  I don't know where to begin.

I want to heal from my own physical condition that I perceive limits me.  I want to heal from the hold my ego has on me leading me into pathological doing , and unhealthy thought patterns that cause less than life enhancing emotional reactions and therefore impinge on health. 

I equate healing with peace. I believe we need to reach that level of peace before we can truly embrace wellness in the holistic way it is meant to be embraced.

So what kinds of questions,  ideas or possible avenues to take my writing get spun as I think on this matter?:
  • I want to understand the difference between holism and this over specialized and divided vision of wellness that the world has adopted with the medical model.
  • I want to understand energy...where it comes from and how it can be allowed to flow more abundantly through us
  • I want to understand what healing really is in holistic terms
  • I want to understand resistance to healing and how to let it go.
So I am starting another series...brace yourself.

All is well in my world.

Saturday, August 19, 2017

Practice Video One Part Two

Here is the second part of the first video.  I had to use a cliff hanger by cutting it in two to keep you in suspense lol.




https://youtu.be/pVBUdSAWfDU

On Energy and Healing

It is amazing how energy levels are transferred even over video screens.

 I just reviewed this video to see if it was coming up...and I got so very tired as I was watching it.  I remembered how tired I felt when I was doing it after about 8 minutes...I felt peaceful...but I was physically very tired and the more I spoke the more tired I got.

I relived that fatigue as I watched myself on screen.  How would that energy transfer to others who are viewing?

It also made me think about my energy and energy in general.  If  energy is what heals and healing is a general thing encompassing all parts of the human being, not specific to one organ or system malfunctioning, nor making distinctions between mind or body... and if I was on purpose doing what I was supposed to do spiritually... should I not have been able to transcend my fatigue making me all energetic and peppy? I must have been resisting wellness somehow or the process of relaying a message in those moments?  And I caught  that resistance on camera?

At the same time...it is amazing that I was able to complete those videos at all considering how I was feeling that day.  Something greater than me got me through those 15 minutes of speaking. No...I wasn't peppy but I  did what I felt  needed to be done and I felt okay doing it. What got me through was the energy that comes with a  higher purpose, maybe? Is it possible that the more I seek a higher purpose the better I will feel? I do look much more energetic in the following videos.

Now I am full of questions about energy, healing and resistance lol...just because I watched my video.  Silly how my menopausal mind works.

All is well.
 
 

Happiness Directions: Step Ten: Commit to Finding the True Self

If we only look within, we will see the Light as if we were seeing our own image in a mirror...Turn in! Look within!  Know thyself!
Satchidananda  (The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, page 115)

Hmm!  The last step to take...the one that will ultimately take us to our destination...is a commitment to find the true Self or what Patanjali referred to as the Purusa.  We begin that path home when we turn inward.  We can read all the scriptures from all the great religions, study the teachings of all the  great philosophers, explore and examine the scientific  breakthroughs of all the greatest minds in the world...but we will never know truth until we commit to finding it within us. We will, as Satchidananda explains in his translation of the Yoga sutras, be wasting our time.

If we want happiness we will find it on our road to enlightenment. The light that guides the world is not out there...it is inside you.  Peace is found in stillness.  Happiness is found in peace...and the joyous rapture of being is found when we discover who we really are.

It is a process...it will require practice and a commitment on our part to get there.  First we must be willing to sit still and turn our focus inward so many times a day and eventually we will see the light. We must commit to a prayer, meditation, mindfulness practice...whatever works in turning our focus away from the externals and inward toward the Truth.

That doesn't mean we cannot read the scriptures or study the greats.  Oh no...the teachings of others can be a great aid to our understanding, guiding us inward.  But stillness, quiet and soulful reflection are the only things that will truly get us there.

Seek the true Self within you and you will soon find yourself to be far on your journey towards the happiness that is yours for the asking.

All is well in my world!

References

Sri Swami Sathidananda (2012) The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. Buckingham: Integral Yoga Publications

Friday, August 18, 2017

Practice Video One: Waking Up, Part One

Okay here we go!  Video One:  Waking Up Part One.

It is absolutely amazing watching myself think about these videos lol.  I see how much ego still reigns in my life. I worry about how they will be received, how I will be judged but more than that I catch myself wondering, "Who am I to think that I can teach this great message publicly, (without hiding behind anonymous words as I do here)...who am I to think  I am chosen to do so?  Is that not ego talking?"

This fear of judgment and this idea that I am not worthy enough to do what we are all here to do...causes a feeling of anx.  That is ego!

I choose otherwise.  I choose peace....and these videos will help me to get beyond ego, one way or another lol.  I may reach no more than one questioning soul but if I do not at least try, I will reach no one at all. 

Imagine what today would be like if the great philosophers and thinkers of the world did not "put themselves out there" by stepping  up to share their ideas.  So many of us would still be stuck in limited perspectives, suffering because of it.  They had so much more to risk than we do today...they could and many were persecuted and put to death because of their speaking up.

What do we risk?  A bit of social exposure, vulnerability, possibly rejection, criticism, or a damaged reputation...all things that truly do not matter in the big scheme of things?  I am, by no means, comparing myself to the great thinkers of the world lol.  I am just trying to make a point:  We all have some valuable truth to share that has the potential to make the world a better place.  Do we not?  Are we not than obligated to share it?

After all that rationalization lol I am not sure how to share a private video so this may or may not be accessible to you. I am  trying.:)




All is well in my world!

Happiness Directions: Step Nine: Choose Peace

Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.
Unknown


I love the above quote and it definitely speaks to step nine on our road to happiness.  If you want to be happy...you first need to feel peace.  To get to peace you must take full responsibility for how you feel.

Your happiness is not determined by the events that surround you or the things that happen to you.  Blaming them will only keep you stuck on this side of peace. 

Your happiness is not determined by the behaviour of other people. No one is responsible for how you feel but you.  We often hear others or ourselves saying, "He made me mad!"  "She hurt my feelings!"  "He is making me miserable!" etc etc...don't we? We tend to think, in our egoic states, that other people are responsible for making us happy.  We look to "special" others to take on this role and fulfill our lives for us, becoming totally miserable and unhappy when they fail to do so, don't we?

Truth is...no one outside yourself is responsible for your feelings but you.  These "special" people were not put on the earth to "fix" you, "fill your empty spaces", make you whole and complete.  If they do not have the power to make you feel good...then they do not have the power to make you feel bad.  Unless of course, you let them. That is your choice, your doing and your responsibility.

Even if the world around you crumbles to pieces you cannot blame your unhappiness on life circumstance...on the random events that cause suffering.  These things do not have the power to cause suffering in you...only your choice of thought and reaction to them has the power to cause suffering.  Once again...it is all up to you.

So instead of choosing to feel miserable over the behaviours of other people or life being life...take responsibility for what you allow in that wonderful mind of yours.  Choose peace rather than "this"...this , whatever it is, that does not serve you.

Seek to be peaceful in the midst of chaos, negative judgment, or the nasty behaviours of others. See that peace as your responsibility and no one or nothing else's. 

Responsibility is also your power.  You have the power to make your life everything you want it to be when you take full responsibility for your feelings.

Choose peace and the door to happiness is sure to open for you.

All is well in my world.

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Choosing Peace of Mind When it Comes to These Darn Videos :)

Before I get on to Step Nine: Choose Peace....I need to get back to these videos because they are consuming me lately lol.  They are disturbing my peace because I am allowing them to. This is supposed to be an effortless activity coming from within me...not based on ego or the little "self" . 

Truth is, I feel compelled to create them even in all their apparent imperfection.  I feel the need to share my learning with others.  It is purely a "spiritual" inclination.  Yet...there is ego sitting in the director's chair shaking his finger at me as he yells into his big cone thingy, "Cut!!!!" There are too many takes and too many less than perfect moments captured on screen to call it "effortless" and "sincere".

I do not want this to be about the appearance of me or the video.  I want it to be about the message.  At the same time...I know as a Toastmaster and as an educator who lectures ++...if we want to get the message across,  we need to present it in a way that will move people and get them to listen.  Judgments are formed quickly and sometimes once they are formed they make challenging walls to get through.

I know I can do better.  I do speak...so that is not an issue ( you may disagree once you see me stumbling over my words in one of these videos lol); improving the lighting and audio is not a big issue either.  It can be more professional.  Yet the more I focus on the "techniques" the less I speak from the heart ...you know?  The more it becomes about "presentation," the less it becomes about  the message. Presentation is ego; the message is spirit.  I want spirit to take the reins here.

So what I will do is publish them here....just here...share or link you few who follow my blog  to the videos.  Just so  that I am not holding back because of ego.  I am confident that the videos  will gradually improve in quality as I continue to make them...and the message will become more clearly expressed!

I just need to keep reminding myself and you...that it isn't about me.  I mean it is because as I am sharing this message I do feel sincerely connected, you know?  I feel what Joseph Campbell would call...bliss.  It is such a calling (or what psychiatrist's would call a pathological compulsion lol) now that if I do not create them I will not feel at peace.  Hmmm!  But it is still beyond my puny little needs.

I want to be at peace and I want the world to be at peace.  If my words move others in that direction...even if it is just by moving their big toes a quarter of an inch toward it lol...am I not obligated to share them?  Will I not feel unsettled until I do?

I don't know but I will try.  :) 

Judge me as you see fit...but I strongly encourage you to  listen to the message beneath the imperfections

All is well in my world.

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

From blogging to vlogging

I made videos!  And they are awful lol! 

Appearance: The lighting is terrible...one side of my face is in shadow, I look like a 99 year old chronic smoker with oscillating fan eyes...I am as grey as the walls I was videotaping in front of (was having chest pain yesterday and it usually leaves me with the loveliest colour:)), and my hair is all over the place. (Man...I have no problem with the way I look in general...but do you think I should have at least combed my hair before getting in front of the camera?  Should  I  worry about my appearance just enough to be you tube ready? lol)

Sound: the audio leaves a lot to be desired, yet it clearly picks up the Roomba as it came knocking on my door, D.'s voice outside my window and my daughter doing baby voices for my dogs. 

The Speaking:  had a lot of menopausal moments as I spoke off the top of my head, I used words that do not even exist in the English vocabulary...ones that I made up on the spot as I combined parts of other words together  (I wonder how often I subconsciously do that ?) , I went blank on the names of the hundreds of philosophers I have studied over the years only remembering Pascal for some reason and I mentioned him twice (mini-mental time?), I stumbled over my quotes,  I used too many ahs and ums to pass the Toastmaster's "ah-counter"  test and sometimes did not finish a train of thought...I also spoke for too long (the 7 minute speech is ideal...I doubled that and then some,  to the point You tube insisted on 2 different videos lol).

The Message: The message was perfect because it didn't come from me.  I was just simply passing on an eternal  truth that is my obligation and my blessing to share.  The sincerity of that goes beyond all the ego dominated stuff above. 

The message is not about little "me"...it is about so much more.  It is the message and a desire or need to share it that has led me to my blog and to the creation of these videos, in the first place.  The fact that they and I appear so imperfect should not take away from the value of that message.

Maybe...in fact...they should enhance it. Very imperfect appearing human being with limited videotaping skills relays a message we can all benefit from, a message that can not be diminished by ego appearances and judgment.

For that reason I may publish those videos here(but nowhere else)..."may"lol....I still have a big fat ego I need to tame a bit before I display my obvious imperfections to the world.

Subsequent videos will definitely be better.  If I am meant to share the learning I have stumbled upon in this manner...the way will be paved for me.  I just had to take the first step which I did. The rest is not about me at all.

It is all good

Happiness Directions: Step Eight: Be Grateful

 
Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.
It turns what we have into enough, and more.
It turns denial into acceptance,
chaos into order, confusion into clarity...
It turns problems into gifts,
failures into successes,
the unexpected into perfect timing,
and mistakes into important events.
Gratitude makes sense of our past,
brings peace for today and
creates a vision for tomorrow.
-Melody Beattie
 
How could I even pretend to be able to say it any better than that?  So beautiful and true are her words. Gratitude brings happiness!
 
 
All is well in my world!
 
References
 
Beattie, Melody (1986) Codependent No More. Hazeldon
 
 

 


Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Side Note: Wisdom is not about knowing more

True wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand about life, ourselves, and the world around us.
Socrates


I should be expecting a visit anytime soon then?  Because I feel I know so little right now.  The more I learn, the more I realize how little I know.  :)

If this not knowing was good for Socrates, lol, it is good for me.

All is well!

Monday, August 14, 2017

Happiness Directions: Step Seven: Accept Where You Are Here And Now

Always say 'yes' to the present moment...surrender to what is. Say 'yes' to life-and see how life suddenly  starts working for you rather than against you. 
Eckhart Tolle

Just say yes!

By saying yes to life as it is right here and right now we take a giant leap towards happiness.  We get rid of our clinging to past memories that bring us down and keep us stuck...we stop projecting into a future that never comes and we start embracing the only time we have to live in,  which is right here and right now.  Your life is only going on in this present moment.  If you want to be happy it is now!

Buddha taught that everyone of us can live happily right here right now. Thich Nhat Hanh in peace is every breath (2011) explains Buddha's teachings this way: "Fully available to the present moment, we discover we already have enough conditions to be happy-more than enough, in fact.  We don't need to go looking for anything more in the future or in some other place.  That's what we call abiding or dwelling happily in the present."(page 77)

So...no matter what is going on around you or in you, simply be aware of it and the moment that exists within it.  It is in that moment that you want to live.  Accept it.  Embrace it!  When you do, your life might just start to work for you rather than against you!  Happiness is here and now!



All is well in my world.

References

Thich Nhat Hanh (2011) peace is every breath. New York: Harper One

Tolle, Eckhart (2010) The Power of Now. New World Library.



Saturday, August 12, 2017

A Little More on Choices

At any moment you have a choice that either leads you closer to your spirit or further away from it.
Thich Nhat Hanh

Before I leave Step Six behind...I want to write a little more on the possibility of metaphysical choices that were made long before we show up here in physical form.  I understand that many of you will have a hard time with that possibility...goes against what you may have been brought up to believe.  I just want you to imagine, if you can, what it would mean if it were true.

If you chose what body you would show up in...how it would look, how it would feel, if it would last for 90 years or 10, if it would suffer with pain or be so physically fit it would constantly adorn medals around its neck, if it would starve or be overfed, if it would be underweight or overweight, tall or short, fully abled or limited...if you chose that...who would you have to blame for realizing you were in that body?

Would you not put away the notion of blame, judgement  and learn to accept...knowing that there was a higher reason for this choice?

Would you not question that, though your body may differ from others, that it was perfect just as it is to God and the world beyond form...after all it was something you chose! ? Would you not embrace your body and the circumstances you find yourself in instead of hating and resisting?  Would you stop regretting and resisting what is...and see it being exactly what it is meant to be...heck...what you asked for?

If we looked at who we are right now in physicality, where we are, what shows up in our lives...as  choices we have made for a higher purpose would we not be happy with our lives?

Hmmm!  Just something to think about.

All is well in my world!

Friday, August 11, 2017

Happiness Directions: Step Six: Know that You Chose This!

With whatever has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow, or an obstacle to keep you from growing.  You get to choose.
Wayne Dyer

How we deal with the less than positive events of life

Hmmm!  How do you look at the less than positive things that "happen to you"?

I spent a great deal of my life feeling sorry for myself!  I clung to each trauma or negative event and said, "Look!  This is what happened to me.  This is why I can't do this or that!  Feel sorry for me too!"  Man, if my life was going to suck maybe I could at least  find  a little perk in  the drama and the pity lol.  Sounds extreme, I know, but isn't that what so many of us do?

Wayne Dyer's books as well as the writing and inspirational teachings of many others have  spurred me to look at the events of my life a little differently.  I am starting to see that I had a choice...I always had a choice as to how I 'perceived" the events of my life. 

Now that I am awakening...slowly and sometimes painfully... ( please know that I know I am not further ahead than anyone else...We can't compare anyway.  I am just on my own twisted little journey to the truth :))....I choose to look at these things differently. 

As I do, I begin to realize that most of the things I used to perceive as negative, fearful and just plain awful...were actually precious gifts that offered learning.  This learning has spurred me onto this path that has led me to where I am right now...which is exactly where I am meant to be.  I can look back at the "terrible" things in my life...even to those events that some would refer to as "grossly unfair, life shattering and gruesome" and actually and sincerely be grateful for them. They have allowed for my own personal growth and expansion as a human being.  Is that not what we are here for

Wow!  Deep...Crazy lady...deep!

Learning From Body Lessons

Yesterday I was sick with something...the body was probably complaining because I had been over doing it...despite my intention to do less. I also have this recurrent pelvic pain...I know it is a cyst on my left ovary...probably due to endometriosis.  I have been  told, despite the fact it doubled in size in three months,  it is functional and will go away in a month...just to buck up with the pain and wait for menopause to hit. 

Which I am perfectly okay with...I would rather think of it that way but my scientific and rational mind ...and my own spiritual wisdom knows differently. The truth I do adhere to is that it will go away on its own.  I am sure if they understood or could relate to the type of discomfort I get...the approach would be different...but if it were different I wouldn't have this learning opportunity.

Anyway, in the height of discomfort related to both this and the bug, I found myself bending over, crying in pain, but at the same time saying thank you out loud to the universe. I realized that despite how much it hurt...it made me so aware of my life force, the fragility of it, the preciousness of it. It connected me to the body I have been trying so hard to ignore reminding me that it is a part of me...it doesn't define me...but is a part of who I am as a human being. I am to embrace it, protect it, love it.

The discomfort  forced me to be here and now...and nothing else in the world seemed to matter in those moments of severe pain.  My body and I were communicating in the present moment.  I felt alive. 

Then when the pain passed and the relief came it was like "Awe!!!"  Such a sweet thing relief is. It reminded me that suffering never lasts...it exists yes to teach us something...but it never lasts forever! 

I was grateful for the pain experience.

Like so many so called "nasty" things of life, I could have been completely overwhelmed by that experience but I chose to see it differently.  I used it as an opportunity to grow.

That being said...I am not asking for too many more lessons like that...the pain free ones are good too lol. Bring more of those pain-free ones on please.  :)

The Choice of Perception

We choose how we look at our life events and we can see them as obstacles or as opportunities for growth.  If we see them as opportunities, we can put away our self pity, our anger, our blame and our resentment.  We can feel peace instead and peace is the necessary stepping stone for the happiness we seek.

When we see that we can choose...we are given not only responsibility for our lives but power as well.  We become powerful and empowered to have the lives we want. We are not limited by events but inspired, enhanced, and blessed by them. Instead of victims , we are creators.  Is this not more conducive to happiness?





Metaphysical Choices?

And what about the metaphysical significance  of our choices?

Do you believe as Dyer and others did, that our choice actually began before we even came down into physical form?  That we put an order into God, the Life Force, the universe...detailing  what type of life experiences we were to have on earth? Is that possible?

If that were the case, would we not have to take responsibility for the lives we are living now?    Something to think about.

All about our Growth and Expansion

Anyway...if we want to be happy, we need to start looking at all life events as an opportunity to do what we are here to do...grow and expand! That is our purpose and fulfilling our ultimate purpose is sure to bring happiness, is it not?  Does that at least make sense?

All is well in my world!


References

Dyer, Wayne ( 2004) The Power of Intention: Learning to Co-Create Your world Your Way. Hay House.

Dyer, Wayne (2009)   There is a Spiritual solution to Every Problem. Harper-Collins.

Dyer, Wayne (2009) Excuses Be Gone. Hay House.


Thursday, August 10, 2017

Apology

I will get to Step six but not today. Recovering from a stomach bug and another bout of pelvic pain (not related...just my body's way of ensuring I take a break today...knew that one issue alone wouldn't do it.) ( I know this  ovarian cyst I have had for months and months..is not just a functional one... no matter what anyone tells me ).  Regardless, I will recover from both...I am confident.  Then I will return to my mission of pretending to know what I am talking about.  :)

All is well.

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Side Note

If you learn something new everyday, you can teach something new everyday.
Martha Stewart

In my writing and speaking,  sometimes I fear that I am coming off as an expert who can steer people in the right direction; like someone who is so advanced on this journey she has gained the ultimate wisdom...some guru, mystic, mentor like figure etc etc.  Truth is, I am none of those things...far, far from it. 

I am like most people early in the waking up process,  just tramping along this path with my knapsack full of heavy ego things like everyone else. I have yet to let go of so much and  I have so, so much to learn ...so many more miles to go. I am just beginning.

I am not a well spring of peace, health and happiness at this point, either.  In fact there are times I find myself saddened by something I cannot even explain as I travel along. I want to stop and go back to the familiar so often. 

I get confused about what is real and what isn't as I look at the world around me with such different eyes.  I fear what might be around the corner still and worry that I have chosen the wrong path. I fear that my so called "waking-up" is actually just  me cracking up.(others might agree with that one.)

I still feel my body complaints, sometimes fervently, even though I may be able to get beyond them like I never could before.  I am not full of physical energy...I am often tired and drained.  Ego has not left the building...it is still very much in my life. 

So man...I am not enlightened!  I am just on my way there.

Yes...I am on my way home.  Despite all the obstacles, doubts and ego reprimands I am on my way home. I just know it in some corner of my mind. 

When I sit in stillness and quiet, I know it, I feel it; or when I am walking in the woods on a beautiful evening while the light is casting golden shadows over everything...I know it, I feel it. 

When I am drifting over a still river as the moonlight drops puddles of silver light across the water in front of my kayak...I know it, I feel it. 

When I read the scriptures from so many different religions; or when I attempt to understand the wisdom of  the philosophers, writers, scientists  with their messages from so many centuries and eras of time, I know it, I feel it...

When I look at the people and beings  around me with these "new eyes ( btw that an optometrist would prescribe heavy duty lens for lol) I know it and I feel it.

And when I am writing...just writing off the top of my head...I know it and I feel it.

There is something so different in the quality of my living these days.  I am much more peaceful and serene...much more aware of what is going on around me.  Despite my failing physical eyes I see so much more clearly. 

There is less resentment, anger, need to be right. I forgive easily; I love bigger.  I know, for the first time in my life...I mean I really know... it isn't all about me. Who I am is so much more than this little self I have over identified with for too many years. 

So I know I am heading home.  I am just at the crossroads I guess. All this confusion, periods of grief and fear, I assume are normal as I leave the world I thought was real for the one I am remembering.  Ego still has the power to pull me back but I do believe Spirit's calling is so strong I won't go all the way back even if  I falter a few steps here and there. 

I am no expert...but in my learning I have a compulsion to do what I encourage my students to do...teach what is learned...it is the best way to truly understand something and it helps everyone.  So I am simply teaching what I am learning here.  I hope that is clear.

All is well in my world!

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

Happiness Directions: Step Five: Let Go of Future Projection. Live Now!

Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.
Jim Rohn

Looking to the Future

How many times have you heard yourself uttering these words: "I will be happy when....(the bills get paid, I get the promotion; I meet my soul mate; the kids get more independent; the kids realize how much they need me :); we get the house of our dreams; when I get better; or when the rest of the world realizes just how awesome I really am lol)" ? Probably too many times to mention right?

We look to the future for the happiness that can only be found in our present.  Projecting our thinking forward  gives us hope which is a wonderful and beautiful thing.  It is also  necessary that we put our desires and intentions out there ...but...we cannot put off happiness for an elusive time that never comes.

All we have to live is right here and right now.  There are no other time frames  or geographical realities.  Everything else is just an imagined fantasy in our minds. 

We have all probably heard the expression: Tomorrow never comes! Well it is true isn't it.  When we get to tomorrow it is today.  When we get to that moment in the future we are projecting towards...it becomes the now, this moment right here, right now.  Does it not?  So in truth there is no future...just this moment and when this moment is done there will be the next moment that becomes this moment and so on and so on on and so on.

All There is...is  Now

All there is... is now.  This is a good thing because  the Now is something we will always have the ability to cope with.  According to Eckhart Tolle , a world renown expert and teacher of present moment living, and author of  The Power of Now (2008) " You can always cope with the Now, but you can never cope with the future, nor do you have to-" ( page 85)  You  don't have to because the future never comes.

Live now.  In this present moment is all you need to be happy, embrace it and whatever is in it as a part of something greater. Stop looking to a time that never comes to make you happy.  Be willing to be happy now!

All is well in my world!

References

Tolle, Eckhart. (2004) The Power of Now. New World Library

Monday, August 7, 2017

Happiness Directions: Step Four: Drop Your Story



Listen to people's stories and they all could be entitled ," Why I can't be at peace now." The ego doesn't know that your only opportunity for being at peace is now.
Eckhart Tolle

Drop the Darn Story.

We all have a story.  Some past trauma or challenge; some injustice or insult, some thing we justify as the reason for being stuck where we are.  How many times have you heard yourself or someone else  relaying the whys of continual pain and dis-ease with a "Yeah but you don't understand I had this or that happen; he did this or that etc."  ?

I still catch myself doing it all the time!  Sometimes I even look for reasons to be offended.  Imagine!

Here we are wanting to be happy but we cling to reasons why we can't be? Does that make sense?

Suffering Exists but we do not have to Cling to it

Yes it is true ...bad things do happen.  People suffer.  Life and other people are not always going to be fair. It is inevitable to have to go through hard times on this journey...but...when the "bad thing" is over, the " bad people" are  gone, some type of physical world balance is restored,  why do we cling to the story so fervently in our minds and use it to explain why we are where we don't want to be? Why can we not just let go of it?

Learning to Flap it Off

Eckhart Tolle in his amazing book, The Power of Now, uses the analogy of ducks to explain how we would best handle the situation of perceived  injustice, attack or offense from others.  When two ducks are fighting over a portion of the pond or another duck...they fight for a few minutes and then fly off in opposite directions.  They flap their winds several times as if to shake off the negativity and tension the fight caused and fly off as if nothing happened.

He then, in a New Earth (2008) explains what it would be like if the ducks had human minds:

"If the duck had a human mind, it would keep the fight alive by thinking, by story-making.  This would probably be the duck’s story:  “I don’t believe what he just did.  He came to within five inches of me.  He thinks he owns this pond.  He has no consideration for my private space.  I’ll never trust him again.  Next time he’ll try something else just to annoy me.  I’m sure he’s plotting something already.  But I’m not going to stand for this.  I’ll teach him a lesson he won’t forget.” And on and on the mind spins its tales, still thinking and talking about it days, months, or years later. ...
You can see how problematic the duck’s life would become if it had a human mind.  But this is how most humans live all the time.  No situation or event is ever really finished.  The mind and the mind-made “me and my story” keep it going."

For more thoughts on these words...check out the links below.




 Do you think then that we could all benefit a little by learning to shake or "flap" it off?  So much of what we call suffering becomes so because we refuse to let it go.  Letting it go and choosing peace over being right can benefit us and the entire world just like it benefits the duck population.

Drop the Story!

Now I am not referring so much to trauma recovery...that is a special case that requires expert help.  Believe me, I know, some trauma is not that easy to shake off....but if we had the willingness to do so, the willingness to put any injustice aside for the sake of our happiness, the willingness to get the help needed to let go of our stories ...wouldn't that be a step in the right direction toward happiness?

Changing the Title of Our Life Story

If you cannot completely drop your story...why not try changing the title? Why not call it: " How my story brought me to my here and now by teaching me forgiveness!" Forgiveness is never for the other person or situations as much as it is for the self.  Forgiveness is healing and allows us to move on. It opens the door to our inner world...a door that takes us away from ego and moves us toward the healing power of Spirit. Forgiveness can open the door to our happiness.  You just need to put your hand on the doorknob.

Let's forgive and move on peacefully.  There is a big beautiful pond waiting for us to explore it!



Nadine Marie (2013) The Duck with a Human Mind. Aligning with Truth. (Blog).  Retrieved from https://mytruthsetsmefree.wordpress.com/2012/10/18/the-duck-with-the-human-mind/

Tolle Teachings(n.d.) The Duck with a Human Mind. Tolle Teachings. Retrieved from
http://www.tolleteachings.com/duck-with-a-human-mind.html

Tolle, Eckhart. (2010) The Power of Now. New World Library.

Tolle, Eckhart (2008) A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose. Penguin

Sunday, August 6, 2017

Happiness Directions: Step Three: Review Thoughts Feelings and Beliefs

Our happiness depends on the habit of mind we cultivate.  So practice happy thinking everyday. Cultivate the merry heart, develop the happiness habit, and life will become a continual feast.
Norman Vincent Peale


Wow!  It really is all in the mind isn't it? 

I woke up this morning thinking about my relationships , my life circumstances and challenges (the good, the bad and the ugly lol) .  I imagined myself trying to explain the significance they play in my life to someone when they asked the question, "Are you happy...why or why not?"

I was quite astonished that when I looked in the mirror...as if on camera while being  interviewed by Oprah Winfrey in a Super Soul Sunday episode  (Heck...if you are going to go off on a thought tangent...you might as well make it big an exciting eh? ) ...I answered back with, "My happiness or lack of has nothing to do with other people or external circumstances...only how I choose to think about them!"

It was an automatic, sincere and a profound thought response...one that would make Oprah sit back in her chair, say "Oh! I like that!" and repeat those words...twice!  I felt the "aha!" in that realization, the learning that officially became a belief planted deep in my subconscious as I wiped the steam from the mirror and gave the cameras one of those, "Oh...I am so wise!" looks.

Then poof!  The interview was over and I realized I was scalding my hands under the hot water I didn't adjust correctly. Ouch! Time to get back to reality.  :)

Our Happiness Depends on the Habit of Mind We Cultivate.

The third step to take, if you choose to  follow my route to happiness, is to review your thoughts feelings and beliefs...keep what works and delete the rest.  It is all about the cultivation that you are fully responsible for,  not the externals that show up.

 We need to cultivate a habit of mind that allows for happiness. If you are planting a garden that will supply you and your family with all your nutritional sustenance ( I am vegetarian by the way so this analogy works for me lol). ...would you plant things that were toxic and poisonous if eaten, things you couldn't eat or that simply tasted so bad they made you sick?  No!

What would you do with those things that grew in your garden that harmed the soil and interfered with the growth of the healthy food you would be eating?   Would you not put the effort into weeding and taking away  the unhealthy?   Would you not be nourishing the wanted  to create a healthy garden so you and those you loved could have a healthy life?

Tend the Garden of Your Mind

Think of your mind as a garden... a garden you and you alone are responsible for creating and tending.  This garden is your life source...it will determine how well you live.  It will determine if you are healthy or unhealthy,  happy or not happy; fulfilled or not fulfilled.   The well being of this garden will depend on what you plant and what you remove. Your happiness will depend on what thoughts , feelings and beliefs you plant and which one you weed out.

Life circumstance and external variables will go on around you. Some days the sun will shine beautifully and the rain will fall softly.  Other days, there will be droughts, and heavy rains...winds that threaten to knock you down...people attempting to tramp all over your produce and destroy what you worked so hard for.  You may  be tempted to blame others and things for what grows in your mind...but...no one...no one is responsible for your gardening success or lack of but you!

Review what is Growing in your mental garden

So what have you got growing in your mental garden? Is your garden overrun with negativity weeds: can'ts, nots, proclamations of blame, judgement, or unworthiness.  Is there fear there?  Doubt?  Shame? Resentment?  Blame?  These things can grow rampant if you don't take care. 

Once you examine your garden get on your hands and knees and roll up you sleeves.  Gently remove the thoughts and feelings that are draining you.  Do not resist them, do not hate them...just recognize their presence and gently let them go. They do not serve you.  They do not serve life.

When it comes to beliefs, remember they may be more deeply rooted.  It may take a little extra work and sometimes help from others to remove them.  Just be willing to do so.

Once the non life affirming is removed, till and refresh your soil with stillness, solitude and quiet. Then plant the seeds of forgiveness,  love, peace and gratitude and you will be amazed how quickly they will blossom and grow. Within no time there will be no room for weeds!

Fill your garden with happy thoughts and your life will be a happy one! Life will be a continual feast!



With a well cultivated mental garden you will have lots of sustenance to take you further on your journey to a happy life! Cultivate well and eat up!

All is well in my world.




References

Peale, N. (1952) The Power of Positive Thinking. New-York: Prentice-Hall (I have an old copy :))

Saturday, August 5, 2017

Happiness Directions: Step Two: Change Your Trajectory

Happiness is your nature.  It is not wrong to desire it.  What is wrong is  seeking it outside when it is inside.
Sri Ramana Marharshi

Step Two: Change Your Trajectory

It is time to have a good look at where we are heading. Is humanity, as a whole, going in the right direction?  Are we headed for a universal happiness that is found in peace and harmony?  Think about it.  Are we? Are you?

I cannot speak for you but I would guess most of us aren't.  I would say, though we want these things, we are headed in the wrong direction. And if most of us are steering off path and getting lost, humanity is going to suffer, the planet and all other beings are going to suffer. 

Isn't it ironic? We want to end suffering but because of the way we are going when we depend on these  faulty maps we are following,  we are unintentionally (and in rare cases intentionally) causing more of it. We need to change our course.  We need to point ourselves in another direction.


Lost?

So which direction are most of us  going in now? We are heading outside the Self...away from truth and Spirit and we have been doing that for long enough to put us in the deep dark woods of ego where we can not see the forest through the trees.  We are so enmeshed in ego's chaos we don't even know we are lost. 

We are so busy doing obsessively, attaining, achieving, competing, claiming, separating, going, going, going, thinking, making excuses, blaming, judging, creating walls and borders, overusing, monopolizing, destroying, clinging, defending and attacking that we got ourselves so far from home base it seems we will never get back. We are told these things will take us home but they do anything but get us there. 

We are walking around in circles and calling it "normal".  Of course it is normal because most of us are doing it...but is it healthy?  Is it  the right direction to happiness?  Where the heck is True North in this mess?  How the heck do we get home?  Oh my goodness!  Do we even remember where home is?

Where is Home?

Home is not out there in the busy world we call normal.  Home is inside...past the doing, the thinking and the relying on conditioned beliefs. Home is the  place within you  that never changes, never goes away, that remembers you though you may not remember it.  Home is where you came from and where you will always "be" when you stop the doing  long enough to feel it.  Home is where you are connected to something so much bigger than your little self and where you recognize the power of the greater Self. Home is where the solutions to all humanity's problems can be found.  Home is where peace, harmony and happiness await in abundance. 

 



 Ego, however, will never direct you home...it will direct you as far from home as it can.  It will get you good and lost.  Recognize you are lost and be willing to change your trajectory.

How do we get home?

Put down that map ego (yours and others)  insists you follow and do what everyone should do when they find themselves lost.  Stop,  Calm down and  Breathe!  Stop running in circles...stop doing.  See that it is not getting you anywhere.  Just sit, rest and breathe!

The True North on your compass will never point out there ...it points to the world within you.  You are the True North.  You are already home.  You are already complete.  You are already everything you want to be.  And you will only discover that when you go inside.

So practice sitting still.  Practice following the guidance of your breath.  It will lead you to the wisdom of your Soul. 

You want happiness? Stop allowing ego to send you around in circles getting you more and more lost.  Stop looking outside for it for it will never be found there.  Change your trajectory.  change your direction.  Head inward.  Head home!

Well that is my take on it anyway...for whatever it is worth. :)

All is well in my world!