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Monday, September 25, 2017

Seeing Peace Instead of This

I could see peace instead of this.
ACIM Lesson 34

I talk and I write about peace of mind so often it is probably making all of you a little nauseated. lol

What is Peace of Mind?

I see it as the thing most of us really want when we set out on one of our many quests for this or that; to attain, gain, claim or remove; to do, achieve, win or succeed etc.  Ego tells us we want the "thing" but what we really want is freedom from suffering and that is what we equate as peace of mind.

By doing, we do not have to sit with what Pascal called, "the miserable truth of our existence".  Distraction, goal hunting, activity and diversion takes us away from what we fear will happen if we sit quietly.  We fear we will be overwhelmed with misery and the realization of our own suffering should we just be.  Ugh!  How depressing is that? So we do!

In that doing though we will meet up with obstacles and barriers that seem to stop us from getting to the peace we assume the thing we are seeking or clinging to  will bring.  Life happens, right?  We will lose, we will get sick, we will be hurt by others, "bad things" will happen, and we may find that this idea of "suffering" follows us around like a dark cloud. When we bend over to catch our breaths we may realize that our thoughts are negative  and we will feel anxiety, worry, and/or depression. We are suffering

Do you mean there is no escaping suffering?

Suffering is real, as the first noble truth of Buddhism states.   According to these truths, suffering actually comes from our "craving" for more...in our diversional activity, our pursuit of material gain, selfish pleasure over compassion and when we refuse to accept the world for what it is. As long as we search for peace and fulfillment in these things; as long as we run from our ego-generated  fear of sitting alone... we will suffer!

According to A Course in Miracles we choose how we see the world.  When we fear...the world becomes a place of danger and potential misery.

Where does suffering originate then?

Suffering begins  in our minds.  When we look out at the world we determine what type of world we see.  From there we make our behavioural choices.  Is the world we see, one we can accept and find peace in?  Or is it one to fear and run from the truth of into diversional and self serving activities?

If we see the world through fearful eyes and decide we must escape into our activity and self protection in order to survive...we will indeed suffer. If we are thinking negative thoughts and feeling negative emotions more than likely we will choose behacviours that take us away from peace and into suffering.

Is there an end to suffering?

Yes !  The third noble truth of Buddhism is that suffering can cease once we stop "craving", "attaching" and seeking to find fulfillment in things outside ourselves.

Suffering will end when we learn to sit quietly and face the real truth of our existence.  When we learn to respond and accept the lives we are in and actively choose peace.

We can end suffering by choosing to see peace instead.

Peace is always possible

According to lesson 34 of A Course in Miracles, "Peace of mind is clearly an internal matter.  It must begin with your own thoughts, and then extend outward.  It is from your peace of mind that a peaceful perception of the world arises." (pg 51; 1:2-4)

By  sitting quietly for a few moments each day we can become aware of what we are thinking and feeling.  We can see how this impacts how we see the world and therefor behave.

All we need to do when we catch ourselves thinking thoughts that are fear based and unloving, or encountering situations that bring up these thoughts and feelings is affirm
"I could see peace in this situation instead of what I see now."

We can change the way we think and feel.  we can change the way we see the world.  We can choose to see peace rather than suffering! 

Make it a point to sit quietly and remind yourself of this often.  And when you encounter a less than pleasant situation repeat the above affirmation to yourself until you believe it! 

It works!

All is well in my world!


ACIM (2007) A Course in Miracles: combined volume. Foundations of Inner Peace.

O'Brien, Barbara (2017) The Four Noble Truths of Buddhism . Thoughtco. Retrieved from https://www.thoughtco.com/the-four-noble-truths-450095

http://thewisdomdaily.com/what-i-learned-from-blaise-pascal-about-the-power-of-stillness/

Sunday, September 24, 2017

There is another way of looking at this.

There is another way of looking at the world.
Lesson 33, A Course in Miracles

This bit of not wanting sickness remains in me...just ever so slightly there reminding me  I have to do some "mental work" that I am just too tired or too lazy (lol) to do right now. So I wake up this morning and as I enter my office where my "writing center" (sounds so official eh?) is, my eyes fall on the opened text of  A Course in Miracles.  I look down to see that it is randomly open to lesson 33 and lesson 34....both are more than echoing what I am feeling.  Coincidence?  I think not!

I realize that there is more than one way to look out at the world I am experiencing.  I do not need to be so attached to the idea of what I don't have right now.  It just keeps me there. I can look at things differently.

There is another way of looking at this.

Isn't it comforting to know there is another way of looking at the world?  When what we see does not bring the peace of mind we long for, isn't it wonderful to know that we can just look at it differently? We decide on how we look at things.  We decide how we feel.  :)

It is all good!







 I stopped feeding these little guys and I assume they are on their way south! Safe journey!

Saturday, September 23, 2017

Want!!

Keep the faith.  The most amazing things in life seem to happen right at the moment when you are about to give up hope.
Unknown


I woke up a little down this morning...a little bit heavy with the weight of the world. I looked around at my circumstances that don't seem to be changing  and perceived myself as "stuck" .  I am more fatigued than ever.  My head won't stop spinning.  Chest pain is still a constant reminder to stop  when I exert myself. The bills are piling up on my desk and new ones too.  I see how I cannot provide for my children the way I used to, the way I want to.  My house is grosse!  Things are not the way I want them to be.

I found myself sighing a big pathetic sigh that said, "Oh Well!  I better get used to it.  Things are not getting better."

I better get used to it? 

I actually said that to myself ??

I allowed that low energy thought and feeling of being stuck to rumble through my psyche and my life the way it does in those who have given up.  Here I was thinking I was accepting my here and now so that I could find peace but I was  really...just giving up on expecting or even wanting anything more?

After all the work I did and all the evolving I know I did, when that last layer of ego was debrided I realized I am still sick with a psychic malignancy. This cancer grows rampant in many of us and we will not see it for what it is until we pull away the superficial layers of who we think we are. 

It's okay.  It happens.  This journey forward to full recovery is going to involve some remissions and some flare-ups.  Recognizing you are in a flare up is key.  I am in a "I am afraid to want more"  flare up.  I am not going to fight it or resist it, I am just going to learn from it and go forward once more.

I am going to refer you back to a couple of past entries  I wrote on this "Giving-Up-On Wanting cancer" that still, much to my dismay,  grows within me.  I read through them  and I feel a little bit pumped with new motivation to make peace with my situation and heal from it, to get to real acceptance and peace of mind.

 If you can relate at all,  I am hoping they will assist you as well.

Accept where you are right now...but....Do not give up on wanting more. Keep those hopes and dreams alive in you. Project them out there. It will happen for all of us if we continue to send our desires out into the universe with hope.  Don't get too hung up on how it is going to happen or when it  is going to happen...just know that it will happen!

Besides...doesn't it just feel better to wish, to dream and to imagine all the wonderful possibilities out there than it does to feel stuck in a rut?  It is all about feeling better, right?  In this moment, dreaming, hoping, and wanting will make you feel better. So feel better.  Want!

https://dale-lynwritin.blogspot.ca/2017/05/acceptance-vs-giving-up-on-wanting.html

https://dale-lynwritin.blogspot.ca/2017/05/ten-steps-to-healthy-wanting.html


All is well in my world!  It really is!

Friday, September 22, 2017

My Sweet Lord

I really want to know You; I really want to go with You; I really want to show You  Lord...Mm, My Lord; My Sweet Lord...
George Harrison

I want you to go to the link below and click on the song as you read this.  I was watching the first half of  The Material World documentary on Netflix two nights ago and I was so moved by George Harrison's spiritual seeking.  He was "awakening" at a time when it was not as popular (lol) as it is now.

The next morning, I was thinking about the documentary as I got into my vehicle. I turned on the radio to "My Sweet Lord".  I have always been so moved by that song so I reached  down to turn the volume up.  As  I looked down at the screen I was blown away to see it was George Harrison's song. I honestly never knew that...had no idea it was his song! So that spurred me on to watch the second half of the documentary and learn more.

George Harrison  was raised a strict Catholic and found great financial success and public notoriety (the things most of us crave in this material world)  very young as a member of The Beatles. Yet he realized early on that it was not enough.   After experimenting with psychedelics, like many did in the 60's, he began to question what he was brought up to believe, looking for more in Eastern philosophies.  Years were spent on this "seeking". He began to see and speak about the unifying principles in all religions...even against great criticism.

In 1970 he released this song which became a number one hit! In the song, My Sweet Lord,  he is singing that he can not wait to meet this Supreme Being which is obviously not specific to one religion. He uses the Christian "hallelujah" sound of praise through the song as well as the Vedic Upanishads mantra ,"Hare, Krishna" in an attempt to unify our understanding of what "God" is. (Well that is what I believe).

Anyway...I found his life story and his truth seeking to be so inspirational and motivational...and now I have a song that I can sing along to, that will help to inspire me more. 

Well if I sing it out loud...I will be the only one around me inspired...let me tell ya! lol .  It is all good!

All is well in my world.

Check out:

The Song and facts about it:

Song Facts (n.d.) George Harrison/My Sweet Lord. Song Facts. Retrieved on http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=1172

The Documentary:

Martin Scorcese (2011) George Harrison: Living in a Material World. Netflix https://www.netflix.com/ca/title/70216230

Thursday, September 21, 2017


For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven.
Ecclesiastes 3:1

Head is a little "spinny"  this morning so I won't write long.  I'll make too many typos lol. Lovely sunny summer day.  Yep it is the last day of summer. Hard to believe how quickly this season went.  Love Autumn though with its amazing colours and its subtle light.  All good.  All so very good!


Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset.
Saint Francis de Sal

I love this quote from a 16th century noblemen and lawyer who became a priest when he realized that "God is Love." Like Buddha and so many other great spiritual figures of our history, he renounced prestige and nobility for a "Devout Life" writing beautiful books of inspiration and faith for lay people which was not done at that time. He preached charity over penance. After his death in 1622, he was canonized as the "gentlemen saint" because of his charity and patience. In 1923 the Pope made him the patron saint of writers and journalists.  :)  (That is why he has a special place in my heart).


References

Check out: http://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=51


All is well!

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

A little learning from Casy, "Grapes of Wrath"


I watched Grapes of Wrath again last night and was blown away by the sheer beauty of it as I am every time I watch it.  The movie itself is great.  I love old movies in black and white that do not depend on bells and whistles but on brilliant acting and a well written story to reach the audience.  This movie is one that does that.

And, I of course, love Steinbeck's wonderful depiction of the human experience during times of strife and struggle. He pulls out the beauty in people  from under their apparent ugliness or imperfection.  He gave people hope in a time when hope seemed to be blowing away with the dust in the wind.  When you read him you are often left   with just a hint  of something...a knowledge that beyond all suffering is something worth fighting for.

Casy was my favorite character in the movie and in the book.  In almost all Steinbeck's stories he creates a character who depicts what it means to be enlightened or awake. Casy was that character in this novel...a "preacher" who gave up on preaching because he did not feel "he knew enough" and began to question what he was told to believe. He felt he lost the Spirit but as the story develops we see how he actually found it and became like "a lantern" for others.

I love this quote the most:

'What's this call, this sperit?' An' I says, 'It's love. I love people so much I'm fit to bust, sometimes.' . . . . I figgered, 'Why do we got to hang it on God or Jesus? Maybe,' I figgered, 'maybe it's all men an' all women we love; maybe that's the Holy Sperit-the human sperit-the whole shebang. Maybe all men got one big soul ever'body's a part of.' Now I sat there thinkin' it, an' all of a suddent-I knew it. I knew it so deep down that it was true, and I still know it.”

What does it say that we can all learn from:
  • The Spirit...is love.
  • We do not need to say that this love, this Spirit belongs only in the deities we worship ( in this case...coming from the Christian Bible Belt of the United states... God or Christ)
  • We don't just need to love God
  • We need to love all men and all women.
  • The Holy Spirit is the Human Spirit 
  • The Holy Spirit is within all of us
  • There is just "One" soul and we are all a part of that soul
  • We are all as Tom later tells his Ma, " a little piece of a great big soul"
  • this is "knowledge" and a "truth" we have inside of us. It comes from a man who questioned everything else and felt like he knew nothing but he knew this!

This is like the wisdom generated in the enlightened mind

Casy even goes on to say,

"I  got thinkin' how we was holy when we was one thing, an mankin' was holy when it was one thing. An' it on'y got unholy when one mis'able little fella got the bit in his teeth an'run off his own way, kickin' an'draggin' an'fightin'.  Fella like that bust the holi-ness"

Is that miserable little fellow ego?

What also reminds me of enlightened wisdom are these words:

"There anin't no sin and there ain't no virtue.  Just stuff people do."

Hmm!  Just some thinking generated from re-watching a great movie and re-reading a great book.  I encourage you to check out both.  :)

All is well in my world.

References :

Steinbeck, John (1939) Grapes of Wrath. The Viking Press

Grapes of Wrath (1940) movie...on Netflix now (sorry ...don't have this cited correctly)

Spark Notes ( n.d.) Grapes of Wrath. Important Quotations explained on Sparks Notes. Retrieved on http://www.sparknotes.com/lit/grapesofwrath/quotes.html

Grapes

Monday, September 18, 2017



Pluviophile: A lover of rain. Someone who finds joy and peace of mind during rainy days.
Unknown


Rest!  Allow God to restore, replenish and refocus your mind.
Unknown

For some reason, I don't feel like writing much today. I don't feel like doing anything.  :) I am sitting here with my tea looking out my window as the rain drips down from my eaves trough making its own little lazy life rhythm. The world out there, beyond my messy  writing corner , reminds me that it is a "slow' day and it is perfectly okay to have a slow day.  A replenishing, a refreshing, a cleansing is going on...outside of me and inside of me.  It's all good.

I can slow down. The viewing numbers are down again and that almost relieves me somewhat. Having 100 viewers a day may have added a bit of pressure...pushing me to "perform" a bit.  Not that I can be anything but what I am...but maybe knowing more people were out there made me feel like I had to wear my Sunday clothes when I am much more comfortable in my sweatpants lol. Today I have my sweatpants on. So it is all good.

Don't get me wrong!  I am so grateful...so very grateful to have had the extra readers.  So grateful for having the message ...whatever my message is lol...passed on for as long as it lasts.  It was wonderful.  And yes it left my ego all swollen and puffy lol. I never feel too comfortable when that happens.  Anyway the numbers were good and I am grateful. 

Yet there is also something very comforting as I go back to a few readers.  It is like I was hosting big dinner party, so excited  and grateful that so many  showed up but when midnight comes around, and the guests leave,  it feels good to just have family around too.  You know?  After the crowd shrinks, you can change into your PJ's, take off the high heels and slip into a pair of slippers.  You can pour yourself a bowl of cornflakes and sit down with the "fam"  to discuss how great the party was.

It was a great party and I am grateful.  I will have another one soon.  :)

It is all good!  It is all so very good.

Saturday, September 16, 2017

Peace of Mind: Video


Ever wonder what we are truly looking for in life....beyond the quest for the obvious?  This two-part video will discuss our quest for Peace of Mind using the five "W's" and How.


https://youtu.be/kGrBKx32Ps8

https://youtu.be/sP5QL3QAWFU



Note:  This is still a practice video...unlisted because it is far from perfect. 

I am not sure why I am doing this. 

Part of me wants to hide in the background until I have everything "figured out".  The other part of me is telling me I have to do this ( write, speak, teach, share)  right now, right here!  I guess the voice telling me to get out there is stronger than the voice telling me to hide.  :)

I feel confident it isn't ego's voice  spurring me on because  my ego is a bit of a perfectionist.  It wouldn't dare allow me to expose myself  with all these obvious imperfections.  So that brings a little bit of comfort to me...knowing it is not ego in charge.  It's almost like I am flipping ego the finger as I post the link for the videos here lol.

While I am taping...I am oblivious to the chaos of my household. You will have to excuse the noise in the background as my camera mic picks up everything from the clothes thumping around in the dryer to the cat meowing in an attempt to get my attention. :)

I am obviously not ready to call these videos anything but practice ones  at this point.  That's okay...the message is still the message, right?  9Well that is what I tell myself anyway :))

And someday...if it is meant to be....someday ...way, way into  the future... I might even venture off this site into the big scary world of public You tube videos lol.  Might! For now they remain unlisted between you, my patient blog readers, and myself.  :)

It is all good.

Finding Peace

Those who are free of resentful thoughts surely find peace.
The Buddha



But the fruit of the Spirit is Love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness...
Galatians 5:22

Friday, September 15, 2017

Beyond Thought Change to Belief Change

You have the power in the present moment to change limiting beliefs and consciously plant the seeds for the future of your choosing. As you change your mind, you change your experience.
Serge King


Okay...By now we know that if we change our thoughts we can change our life.  Seems so simple, right?  We tell ourselves all these wonderful things in the mirror.  We change our thoughts into positive ones.  We speak positively to others.  We are doing the work aren't we? So why isn't it working for most of us? Why are many of us still stuck and not able to move forward into the life experience we want?

The problem we are often facing...is we don't believe the things we are telling ourselves.  We do not emotionally connect with the words because they do not make sense to our subconscious minds.

If we want effective change we need to dig a little deeper and change what is under the surface.  We need to go beyond the conscious thought to the subconscious belief to effect the change we want. We will know we are changing what needs to be changed when we "feel better".

Beliefs Are Different than Thoughts

Thoughts lay in the outer layer of our mind, in the conscious part of it.  They are easy to recognize, understand and therefore change. Though they can influence our emotions to some extent, their power is limited.

Beliefs are more deeply rooted and ingrained in the deeper layer of our minds .  They were established by years of conditioning, what we were told by others, what we were brought up to believe.  In a sense they are thoughts with hooks that were drilled into us  in our developing years. They are in there pretty good! Most important to remember about beliefs is that our emotions are more tied up in them than they are  to our superficial thoughts.

What do you really believe?

Often we are not even aware of what is going in our subconscious minds because these beliefs get buried beneath layers of superficial thought change, affirmation and clinging to what we "want to believe" rather than what we do.

In order to "heal" so we can produce the lives we want, we often have to do some excavating to determine what it is we truly believe so we can change those beliefs into ones that no longer limit us but allow us to soar. Thought restructuring  makes superficial changes, while belief restructuring makes life long ones. 

How Do We Determine Our Beliefs?

There are certain things we can do to understand what is going on inside our heads. I would suggest that you get some help to do the digging, especially if you fear that you may unlock some door of secrets you have hidden away from yourself.
  • Be Aware of the Conscious Thoughts as they occur. Use the A-B-C- techniques offered by Rational Emotive Therapy.  We can actually trace our thoughts back to an originating belief.  For example, if my thought when something unfavorable happens in my life is, "This isn't fair.  These things are always happening to me."  From this thought I can determine that my belief system is based on this idea that bad things are always happening to me.  I believe bad things will happen to me.  I must somehow be deserving of bad things and unworthy of good. etc etc
  • Be Aware of What You Are Dreaming.  Our dreams often bring forth our subconscious beliefs when we are ready to change them. Simone Wright, in her article in the Huffington Post tells us that the things  we learn from dreams are often  keys to our subconscious minds and our healing, "Often times these discoveries will reveal a deeply hidden and subconscious belief that has been running for a very long time without your awareness — and the reason it is coming to the surface now, is because you are now in a position to do something about it."  Keep a dream journal by your bed and follow Wright's tips. I have personally learned so much from my own dreams.
  • Be aware of how you feel when you test out new thought changes. As you progress to changing your thoughts, determine how you "feel", with each change in wording.  For example if I were to use the above example of "This isn't fair.  These things are always happening to me. " and begin to change that, I will probably notice that I cannot connect emotionally with a change to "Life is so fair! Good things are always happening to me. "  I won't feel better emotionally...I may actually feel worse because it is so far away from  my  actual belief system.  I can determine than that I do not believe I am worthy of these things.  If I tone the change down and try, " This doesn't seem fair.  It seems that these things are happening to me a lot."  I will probably feel a "yeah...that's what I believe without the drama" etc.  I can then begin to make small improvements in thought and feeling from there until the belief corresponds with something that will change my life more dramatically.
How do we change our Beliefs?

Once a belief is exposed with the A-B-C and examined for what it is, we can begin making changes in the same way we choose our thoughts:

Step One, according to The A-B-C-D-E of REBT (Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy), is dispute the thought: "D":

  • How realistic is it?  Are these things always happening to me? Is this truly unfair or just the way it is?
  • Where is the evidence that this is true?
Step Two is the "E" of the REBT process which is creating Effective Thought Change.  We can do that by:
  • Removing the "musterbations"
  • Removing the absolutes
  • Removing the put downs, judgements, criticism
  • Removing the "lack"
  • Removing the drama
  • Removing assumption
  • Moving up the emotional ladder toward "relief" one rung at a time.
Changing our limiting beliefs is all very doable!  We can learn to feel better and to live better by doing so! Determine what you truly believe, change it and plant the seed for the future of your choosing!

All is well!



References/Recommended Reads

Bishop, F. Michler. (2004) Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy: The Basics. SMART Recovery, National Training Conference. Retrieved on
http://www.smartrecovery.org/resources/library/For_Family_Volunteers_Professionals/basics-of-rebt.pdf

Lipton, Bruce. (2013)  The Biology of Belief: Unleashing the Power of Consciousness, Matter and Miracles. Hay House.

Wright, Simone (December, 2014) Using Our Dreams as Intuitive Messengers. Huffington Post. Retrieved from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/simone-wright/using-our-dreams-as-intui_b_6057292.html

Thursday, September 14, 2017

Book Learning


You cannot open a book without learning something.
Confucius



Lovely morning.  I am sitting here with my tea after a bit of yoga and meditation trying to connect with some words before I head off to teach.

I know we were on the topic of healing with thought change.  I just want to list some books I read in the last couple of weeks.  All of which you may find helpful in better understanding the importance of thinking "well".   I will review them more thoroughly at a later date. These little gems fell onto my lap like books often do so I feel compelled to share them with you.

Suggested books to read:


Behrend, Genevieve. (2013...reprint) Your Invisible Power. Rough Draft Printing.
  • This wonderful  little book was written in the 1930's by an amazing an innovative thinker for her time. In her study of "mental science" ...the author understands and explains the power of our thinking in creating the life we experience.

Dyer, Wayne. W. (2007) Inspiration; Your Ultimate Calling. Hay House.:
  •   About learning to "think" and "feel" like a spirit having a human experience rather than a human having an odd spiritual experience. Guides the reader into understanding what they are here for in this world of particle, form and space.
Dyer, Wayne. W. (2014) Getting In the Gap. Hay House.
  • Short little book with accompanying CD Track to  explain the importance of focusing on the space between thoughts and gradually getting beyond thought. Offers tips for a meditation practice, gradually expanding on this space between visualized words of the Lord's prayer.
Taylor, Steve. (2017) The Leap: The Psychology of  Spiritual Awakening. New World Library. :
  • Just as the title implies, a psychology focused guide to waking up.  Helps the reader to understand the "thinking" that occurs with this spiritual process of awakening.
Kuhn, Greg. (2013) Why Quantum Physicists Create More Abundance. Kindle Edition
  • Another short and quick read that interestingly applies science to prove the power of our thinking.
All is well in My World!





Wednesday, September 13, 2017

The greatest achievement is selflessness.
The greatest worth is self-mastery.
The greatest quality is seeking to serve others.
The greatest precept is continual awareness.
The greatest medicine is the emptiness of everything.
The greatest action is not conforming with the worlds ways.
The greatest magic is transmuting the passions.
The greatest generosity is non-attachment.
The greatest goodness is a peaceful mind.
The greatest patience is humility.
The greatest effort is not concerned with results.
The greatest meditation is a mind that lets go.
The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances.
Atisha


I found this lovely quote, gatha or prayer today on a site called, a View on Buddhism, retrieved on http://www.viewonbuddhism.org/resources/buddhist_quotes.html.

All is well.  Have a wonderful day!

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Getting to Shore


Lovely day!  Grateful to be alive.  I found this on an old blog.  I wrote it way back in 2014 (under my pen name) when I found myself  awakening at four in the morning.  I was struggling with being between the shore I wanted to be on and the world I lived in for too long. I felt like I was drowning.  Hmmm! (Dramatic, eh? lol) I feel compelled to share it here.

 The Shore

 I feel the demanding presence of the current
pulling me further away from shore,
towards the others...
so many others,
bobbing effortlessly in the distance.


I am no longer like them,
I realize,
as I swallow the salty bitterness
of the life I am drinking in.


I turn my head to see how far I have gone.
I am so far away from where I am meant to be.
The fingers of my misguided effort
wrap them selves around me,
squeezing  my chest and neck
until I cannot breathe.


On the shore I see the familiar comfort
of rest I long for.
I no longer need or want the challenge of keeping up
with the many swimmers ahead of me.


I fight the waves that push me backwards
and I turn toward the sandy beach,
now so far away.
My  arms flail in decisive movements
but the current is so resistant to my moving back
to where I came from.
Atlas, my body is exhausted for coming out so far,
from chasing a horizon no one ever reaches.


Suddenly, I am heavy with the weight of this sea
and I go down
as the foamy bubbles of someone else's dreams
fill my lungs.

I can do nothing
but extend one trembling hand up through the wave,
in my pathetic request for help.
The others do not see it,

I know that,
but Spirit does.


In the dark abyss of nothingness,
 I feel the arms around me
lifting me high above the surface
and carrying me effortlessly to the shore.
I do nothing
but accept the help that is being offered.


And I am saved.
I am home
on solid ground,
where I belong,
where I can rest,
where I can breathe and
 where, once again,

I feel
a strong and stable earth beneath my feet.

I rest in the place
I never truly left.

Dale-Lynn 2014



Monday, September 11, 2017

Fill your day with quiet moments that bring joy.





Thank you

I just want to take a moment to thank the tinybuddha site for publishing one of my articles/posts.  It was a long time desire of mine to have the opportunity to write for them.  I think it is an amazing site that offers so much positivity to the world! 

I also want to thank all the tinybuddha readers for stopping by.  It is a pleasure to welcome you to this small, unknown  corner of the cyber world. (Think of yourself as pioneers, lol!)  Make yourself at home for as long as you like.

I am hoping you will get something from my words.  If not, that is okay too. This, whatever "this" is, might not be for you.  I truly just want you to find what you need to assist you on this wonderful journey of healing, growing and expanding. If it is not here, it is out there somewhere...by that...I mean ...it is in you.  All you need is a key. Find a key that works for you.

The fact that you are even here ...searching...indicates you are getting there.  You are going where you want to go.  You got this!  (Well that is the way I see it ...anyway.)

All the best!

For the few readers who were with me from the beginning... Check out this and all the other great posts on the tinybuddha site:

https://tinybuddha.com/blog/measuring-the-quality-of-your-day-with-a-to-be-list-not-just-a-to-do-list/


All is well!

Sunday, September 10, 2017

More on Changing Our Thoughts


If you can change your mind, you can change your life.
William James (see below)

So let's review...

I believe our thoughts are involved in a six step process that determines the quality of our life.  The steps in the sequence go like this:
  1. There is an external trigger
  2. A thought, originating from a  belief system, emerges
  3. This leads to an emotional experience
  4. There is a physical correlation of that experience in the body
  5. Some behavioural reaction /choice may arise next
  6. There is a consequence to our choices  and life responds
The most crucial step to our wellness and life experience is number three: The emotional experience.  Many spiritual teachers and mental health professionals  would agree that the quality of our lives is mostly determined by how we feel and how we feel is determined by what we think. 

Emotions are powerful vibrations that effect our health and our life circumstances. So it is paramount then to "feel good."  If we are experiencing emotions that fall under the "acceptance of my plight" rung on the emotional ladder...we need to climb up vibrationally in order to live high quality lives. Right?

So the goal of our thinking then should be for us to feel as good as we possibly can and to stay up in that energy level.

When you don't feel so good: Change Your Thoughts And Feel Better

Let's face reality though! We are going to slip from time to time and we are going to find ourselves slipping down the ladder rungs.  What do we do when that happens?

We have to climb back up! We have to change our thinking so we can do that.  Byron Katie refers to this process as The Work and that in a sense is what it is...work. (Katie, 2003)




Step One: What are you feeling?

Recognize where you are on the emotional ladder.  Are you "up" or are you "down"?

Once you recognize that you don't feel so good, determine the emotion you are feeling. 

Label it.  That is a tricky thing to do as well.  Most of us just identify our emotional experience with "I feel good.'  or "I feel bad". 

There are, however, a whole lot of levels of bad and it is important to know where you are at so you know where to go.  Are you feeling accepting of your plight?  If so, you don't have a far climb to "peace'.  Are you feeling "frustrated?" Then you do not have a far climb to acceptance.  Are you feeling "blaming"? Well you don't have a far climb to frustration.  Are  you feeling angry?  Then you do not have a far climb to blaming. 

Getting the picture?  

You need to know where you are at so you know what emotional rung you are reaching for.  It is always the one directly  above you.  We are more likely to get to where we want to go when we climb one rung at a time.

Step Two: What are you thinking?

A Course in Miracles tells us that  all emotion in the lower rungs (less than peaceful) belong under the Fear category.  All emotions above acceptance belong to Love. We want to make it to the Love category one rung at a time. 

In order to do that  we need to determine what conscious thought we had that triggered the emotional reaction.  This is not easy for many of us.  As I said last post and in the practice video, the thinking/feeling/behaving process occurs so automatically it is like a knee-jerk reflex in most of us.  We face the trigger and the next thing we know life seems to be good or life seems to be bad.

Yet, there was definitely a thought of some kind that led to you feeling the way you are feeling.  Rewind in slow motion. Take a minute and go back to it.

What were you thinking?  If you cannot collect the entire thought word for word, don't sweat it.  Just try to determine what it is you were thinking about. Write it down if you can.  Writing it down is a way that allows you to not only analyze it but to release it from your mind.  It is very therapeutic.

Step Three: Analyze the thought.

Look closely at the thought and ask yourself the following questions:
  • Is this thought attached to a particular belief that you are aware of?  It is definitely attached to some belief in your subconscious mind but the question is, are you aware of what belief that is Beck and Ellis focused a great deal on determining the belief systems that lay beyond these emotional and behavioural reactions.
  • Does the thought contain  "musterbations?"  Musterbations are words that add pressure in our thinking like "Must", "Have-To", "Need to, "Gotta" should".  These words strip us of our power and bury us under the weight of obligation.
  • Is the thought focusing on what you are lacking rather than what you have now?
  • Does the thought contain absolutes like "never: "Things never work out for me."  or "always.  These things are always happening to me"?
  • Is the thought putting  you or others down in any way?
  • How realistic is the thought? Really?  Is this going to kill you or is it just going to be a challenge?
Step Four: Change the Thought in a believable way

Now you begin the work of changing your thought.  These steps might help;
  • Recognize that all thoughts are intertwined with belief systems which lay deeply intertwined in your subconscious mind.  Changing your beliefs are a little more time consuming and challenging than changing your thoughts.  Most of us are unaware of what we really believe until we are put to the challenge. For now just know that and if you are aware of a belief system the thought is attached to your work will be easier.
  • Remove the pressure of  musterbations and give the freedom to choose back to yourself.  Take out all the should, have-tos and musts from your vocabulary. Truly though.... there is nothing in this world we have to do.  Everything is a choice is it not? I mean you may say "I have to work so hard so I can keep my job so I can feed my kids."  But really...you do not "have" to keep your job...and you do not "have" to feed your kids.  Those are things you want to do.  The consequences for not doing so would be horrid but you still have a choice. Replace these words with want to, willing to, choose to...this will make a tremendous change to how you are feeling.
  • Remove focus on lack. If your thought was, "I don't have enough money and I don't know how I can manage!,"  simply change it to, "I want more money so I can manage.'  That simple switch is going to change a feeling of defeat by instilling a bit of desire and hope.
  • Remove the absolutes.  Come on!  Things have to work out for you sometime.  Life is not "always' giving you a bad break.  Words like never and always  keep you stuck in a spiral of defeat.  They are not realistic.
  • Any time a thought puts another person down it is going to add, even subconsciously, to your negative feeling.  It might add guilt, shame etc.  Anytime you put yourself down in a thought...it has the potential to bring you to the lowest wrong of despair.  Don't go there! Take away the put downs from the thought!
  • Remove the drama!  Isn't there enough drama and over exaggeration in the world?  We don't need it in our heads.
  • Make the thought change a believable one.  You do not need to leap from a thought that makes you feel despair to a thought with the intended effect of making you feel ecstasy. "I am rich.  I have a 1,000,000 in my account" will not sustain relief from the feelings that arise from the thought, "I have no money.  I don't know how I am going to get by."  Often, our belief systems won't let us jump that far and if the thought doesn't register in your belief system it will not cause the desired emotional effect.
  • Climb up the ladder, one rung at a time. That is the most sure way to proceed.  For example, take this blaming thought, " I can't believe she said that in front of everyone.  How could she?  She is wrong in the way she deals with people! She makes me so mad." In this thought I am blaming someone else for my experience.  First of all...no one outside ourselves can "make us mad.".  I am feeling mad because of something I observed her doing.  The problem is not in what she did but how I emotionally reacted to it.  It is all mine.  If I want to feel better I can reach for a thought that lifts me from blaming to frustration.  That offers a bit of "relief."" I feel upset when I get called out the way I did.  When she said what she said I felt angry because I do not agree with her approach." Same situation ...totally different thought...one where I took ownership and responsibility for my feelings and got above the behaviour of others. With responsibility comes power.  Sure I am frustrated but I have my power back. I feel a certain relief.  I am moving on up!!!
So Much More to Cover

Oh wow!  I only intended to write a few words this morning.  I wanted to go through an example with you but that will have to wait until next time!

I really think I feel another book coming on lol. The thinking process fascinates me and I honestly see how changing our thoughts can change our lives. I am not alone.  Please check out the  references and recommended readings below.

 I cannot stress enough that this is what I have come to believe through years of observing, studying the experts, reading everything I could get my hands on, listening to others, watching how others managed their life situations, learning from my own mistakes  etc etc.  This is how I see it! That doesn't mean it is the only way to see it.  As I said many times, I am no expert.  I do not have a PhD in psychology. I am just a life learner.

All is well.

References and Recommended Readings/Viewings

A Course in Miracles Combined Volume. Foundations for Inner Peace.

Boyd, Alice (Jan, 2013) Cognitive Restructuring. Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-practice/201301/cognitive-restructuring

Ellis, Albert (2015) Feeling Better; Getting Better; Staying Better: Profound Self Help Therapy for Your Emotions. Impact Publications.

Katie, Byron (2003) Loving What Is: Four Questions that Can Change Your Life. Reprint Edition.  Harmony Press.

Musterbation (n.d.) Retrieved from  http://home.insightbb.com/~bjhpro/Office_Web_Page/Musterbation.html

Peale, Norman Vincent (1952) The Power of Positive Thinking.

The Pursuit of Happiness. (n.d.)  William James. Retrieved from http://www.pursuit-of-happiness.org/history-of-happiness/william-james/





Saturday, September 9, 2017

Healing with Thought Change


Relax, let go, allow and recognize that some of your desires are about how you think your world should be, rather than how it is in that moment.  Become an astute observer...judge less and listen more."
Wayne w. Dyer

Healing Begins With Understanding Our Thinking

I honestly believe we can heal so much of our life by changing the way we think.  Wayne Dyer (one of my favorite mentors), using the Principles of the Tao Te Ching, wrote a wonderful book about this amazing possibility.  We can change our lives by changing how we think. (Dyer; 2009). 

Dr. Dyer was not the only teacher who helped me to understand the power of the mind. There are too many to mention here but in my video I referred to a few of my greatest motivators. Norman Vincent Peale also explained, so simply and beautifully, how powerful our thinking is and how we, if we choose to think positively, can live amazing lives. (Prentice-Hall; 1952).  His teachings spurred me on to a life long interest in understanding our cognitive processes. I also mentioned how as a psychology student I focused a great deal on the area of "cognitive restructuring" and was fascinated by the work of Albert Ellis and Aaron Beck. 


A Review of what was Discussed in the Video

I just want to reiterate what I spoke about in my practice video posted on yesterday's site. I do not yet have the know how or technology to put text or learning visuals on these videos  to better demonstrate my point so I will do it here. (If I decide to take the videos more seriously, I will find a way to master that. For now you get more blogging.:))

The Thinking Process

This is how I see the thinking process working.  Of course I had to slow the process down because most of the time  we go from the trigger to a positive or negative experience of life without being consciously aware of what is going on in between those steps. It seems like we go right from Step 1- step 6,  like a knee-jerk reaction.  Something in life shows up and the next thing we know life seems good or life seems bad. 





In truth, however, this is a process that involves many steps.  If we slow it down and trace our steps backward we can determine why life appears the way it does to us.

  1.  Starts with a trigger...usually an observation of some environmental factorWe encounter something outside ourselves that begins the process.  It could be something positive like an unexpected cheque in the mail box; or something not so positive...like an unexpected bill in the mail.  
  2. This leads automatically to a thought: Though we may not be consciously aware of all of it at the time a thought intertwined with belief will pop into our heads.  If  you see the cheque the thought might be: "Oh My!  What a pleasant surprise.  Life is shining on me!  I must be deserving of blessing." If you see the bill, the thought might be: "Oh No! What a rotten surprise.  Life is always raining on me!  I must be undeserving of anything but punishment. "
  3. The thought will automatically be followed by an emotional experience.  The thought of life blessing you and being deserving of such blessings is more than likely going to make you feel good.  Right?   You may feel  relieved, satisfied, safe, peaceful,  happy, joyful, ecstatic...travelling up the emotional ladder. The thought of being punished by life because you do not deserve more is likely going to make you feel less than good.  You may go from feeling accepting of your plight, to feeling frustrated, blaming, angry, worried, anxious, or full of despair as you thump down the ladder rungs, one at a time. You won't feel good. 
  4. The feeling may lead to a Physical sensation or feeling.  If you are feeling happy as you hold the cheque in your hands and think those positive thoughts...your body may feel open, energetic. You may find yourself smiling, laughing or jumping up and down.  If on the other hand, you felt "sad" over the thought of not being deserving of the good things in life, "anxious" over the "lack" in your life and/or worried about  how you are going to cope as you hold yet another reminder of your unworthiness in the form of a bill, your physical experience will be different. You may find yourself frowning, scowling, feeling sick to your stomach, tired, shaky, bringing your hand to your face, tensing up and curling forward to protect the most vulnerable parts of self that suddenly feel exposed to the unfairness of life.
  5. Here we may make a behavioral choice.  If you are feeling good you are likely to do things that make you feel even better...like smile at the people you meet on the  way home, hug your dog when she comes to greet you, call someone and share the good news, do something good for someone else, celebrate life, and express gratitude and appreciation. When you think good thoughts you tend to think more good thoughts. If you don't feel so good physically or emotionally what do you tend to do? You may shoot someone a dirty look on the way home; curse yourself for your stupidity; fail to wave or acknowledge the people you encounter.  You may push the dog aside ignoring or even growling at him for his desire to please you,.  You may collect more grievances to prove that life is indeed always raining on you. You may call someone to "complain" looking to validate or share your misery with the world. You may snap at those who do not understand how hard you have it, and you may be less than friendly or kind to others or yourself. When you think bad thoughts you tend to think more bad thoughts! Though it may not seem like it at the time, every behaviour you use here is a choice!
  6. 'Life' responds.  Isn't it obvious that the more you are open, smiling , giving, appreciating, celebrating  the more you are going to enjoy life and the more life is going to enjoy you?  People will respond to your behaviour which vibrates your  happiness, your joy in like minded ways.  Others will want to be around you.  Others will even mimic your behaviour,  spreading even more happiness around.  Things will work out for you.  The world will be brighter, kinder and more supportive of you. Life will indeed shine down on you! Well...if you are choosing to  growl, snap,  complain, be unkind, stay stuck in the negativity by looking for reasons to be...life will not appear to be shining on you.  In fact, it will continue to rain on you until you walk away from the dark cloud inside your head.  

How to Walk Away From the Rain to the Sun

I believe the most important thing we can do to change our life experience if it is anything but positive  is to go back to Step 2 to change our thinking. If we become aware of our thoughts and change those thoughts so we feel better, we then change our emotional experience, our physical experience and our behavioural choices.  Our lives  then will change!

Our experience of life is  a product of our emotional energy ( Step 3) and a consequence of  our behavioral choices (Step 5). Obviously we need to take responsibility for our feelings and behaviours  by being more aware of them.  If we change our thoughts these should naturally change as well.

Step 4 is  great step to evaluate if we want to see where our emotional energies are headed and where we are headed in terms of our health and healing.  Blocked emotional energy in this step creates physiological changes in our body.

More to Come!

I will speak more to how we change our thoughts in upcoming blogs.  For now I encourage you to be aware of this six step process as it occurs in your life. It really can make a difference!

All is well in my world!



References and Recommended Reading/Viewing

Dyer, Wayne. W.(2009) Change Your Thoughts-Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao. Hay House

Holmes, Kathleen (n.d.) Aaron Beck, Albert Ellis and Cognitive Psychology. Psychology .info. Retrieved from http://psychology.info/aaron-beck-albert-ellis-and-cognitive-psychology/

Peale, Norman Vincent (1952) The Power of Positive Thinking. First Edition. Prentice-Hall (Since been republished many times...it would be easy to find a newer edition :)) th

Friday, September 8, 2017

Strangers in Your Bed? What Thoughts and Feelings Do You Wake Up With?

Very little is needed to make a happy life; it's all within yourself, in your way of thinking.
Marcus Aurelius

Another beautiful day to be alive! It is always good to be alive (excuse the descriptor), isn't it?  It is always good to wake up grateful.

Now, I have to confess, there are some mornings that I wake up and I have to dig down deep for that feeling of gratitude.  Peace and joy are not always right there to greet me with a big smack on the lips.

No.  Some days I wake up to the stale morning breath of confusion, doubt, frustration, anger, resentment, anxiety, worry, fear,  and a knot in the gut pressure to do.  I might not know, right a way, where on earth these characters  came from but none the less I will often turn over to find them on my pillow greeting me with a slurry "Good morning Sweetheart!" Then, I remember I brought them to bed with me the night before.  I am not feeling grateful then.  I am overwhelmed by my bad luck!

Bad luck?

Wasn't it I who allowed these creatures to slip beneath the sheets with me?  Wasn't it I,who in one of my many lapses into insanity,  picked them up and brought them home in the first place?  Wasn't it I, who found some momentary pleasure or diversion in their company?  Wasn't it I, who made the choice to allow these emotions and thoughts to share my most intimate space? 

There is no luck to blame here.  There is only choice. I choose how I think and I choose how I feel. Therefore I choose how I live my life. This is mine to own!

And it is not like its the first time right?  If 90% of my 60,000 thoughts a day  are repetitive this can't be the first time I find myself staring into one of the homily faces of negativity in the morning. I, as many of us are, am constantly making the same thinking  and feeling choices. We find ourselves waking up in too many mornings...not thinking how great it is to be alive but instead, "Ugh!!!!! How can this be?"

The Video

The following is another practice video that talks a little bit about our thinking process . In its apparent imperfection, you may just find a little insight into why we are not where we want to be. 

It's a process right?  It is all a process.  We take one small step toward change at a time.  If we stay aware and committed to do the work, before long most of us may be waking up in the loving arms of peace and joy instead of these negative emotions who, on ego's direction,  do not want us to be who we really are!  Until then, don't be so hard on yourself. We all make mistakes.

Upon rereading this...I hope it's clear that I am writing very figuratively. With four dogs and D. there is no room in my bed for anyone else lol.

All is well.

Practice Video: The Thinking Process