Tiny Habits; Tiny Steps to Letting Go

 

Start with simple things, and work your way up.

Michael A. Singer

Both Michaeal A. Singer, and James Clear teach that it is important to practice a better way of being by starting with tiny things.  Singer calls these tiny steps: 'dealing with the low hanging fruit', and Clear calls these steps, 'creating atomic habits'. 

In terms of habit change and doing that which will help us to release what is in the way of our liberation, can we place opening to what is as the ultimate goal we want to develop the habit of; and closing to life by resisting and storing that which is in the way of our spiritual growth  the ultimate habits we wish to break?

Let's explore that.

All is well.

James Clear (2018) Atomic Habits. New Yok: Avery

Michael A. Singer/Temple of the Universe ( April 22, 2024) When Staying Open Becomes Your Motivation. https://tou.org/talks/

Carl Jung

 Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.

Carl Jung

Carl Jung was the ultimate psychotherapist.  He, as a student of Sigmund Freud, expertedly understood the psyche through psychology/psychiatry (psychoanalysis) but he also understood that which was beyond the psyche. He was a bit of a yogi, I think.

All is well

Building "me" and Polestars

 Any place where you can put your heart and your mind that is not on you is a wonderful place to put it.

Michael A. Singer

 Not sure what is happening with this site...if that bot activity is doing something malicious. Which is sad being that it might be the only readership I have. lol Could all this mean, that the time, effort, and energy I expend writing here has absolutely no positive value for others... and is possibly even leading to unwholesome and unwanted things for others? Could it mean that it,  and "me" as a teacher, are of no benefit to the world? Maybe, I am not getting through to even one person? I don't like thinking that way, not even for a second.  I mean, I am okay with not reaching many but if I am only  sharing this "precious soul speak" with those who are blocking its progress and using it for unwholesome reasons...do I continue? 

I personally get so much from being here. So much growth and learning. With this "idea" in the back of my mind that it might serve a higher purpose other than "me's" growth...I am inspired. I love the feeling of inspiration. Yet, it isn't just about "me"  and what I am getting from this, is it? The writing circle isn't just about me. Nothing in this world that I do, say, think, or feel is just about me.  Everything is interdependent! This idea of preserving "me", in fact,  is in the way of what I can do for others.

I am not here for me...I am here for you...if I am here for me...I am not be here for you...

Michael Singer

I would like to think I am here for you...serving in some way that I can. But am I?

Am I honoring and on the right trajectory toward  my ultimate goal, my polestar by coming here? My lower human goal is to be seen as a writer and teacher ( The ultimate goal is creating identity, according to James Clear and perfectly okay in its humanness. We establish habits  for that purpose.  But according to a yogi, building identity is a downward focus of Chit Shakti that could block a greater flow). 

I do have higher goals, however. My highest goal, the one that really drives me...my polestar...is spiritual growth. Spiritual growth is all about getting "me" out of the way and letting the soul beneath speak. That soul speak is precious. 

Exploiting the Precious? 

So I use the few human passions and talents I have to get me to a higher place. I use it to serve. Is it getting me to my polestar or am I stuck here on this level of habit maintenance?  When I see  that it is possible that what I create here could not only be  falling into empty space, unread, unseen, but it might also  be used for no good...my heart breaks. I hate to think that this site, and others out there like it, are being used as  donkeys to carry others down into the valley, a donkey the hijackers are too unconscous to see or care about as anything more than a quick fix to make their life easier as they drag unwilling travellers behind them to use for their own purposes later on.  How could something meant to be so good turn out so nasty, or at the very least so valueless? I don't know.

Is This Good for Me and Thee?

So I question again: Should I stay or should I go? Now I am adding onto that: Am I doing more harm than good here? That makes me sad. Both the me and the Thee seem to like it here ( or at least that is what I am telling myself).  Both the self and the Self, the human and the Being  can use this page for their own growth and expansion, can't they? Then why isn't it working in the way I thought it should?  (Aha...a statement that speaks to my lack of evolvement). I am once again questioning the roots of my desires, my habits, my polestar. 

Craving assists with the establishment and maintenance of lower human goals that help this "me" develop habits that will get it what it wants:  identify as a writer, teacher etc., according to James Clear.

Desire and craving are what initiate behaviour. page 264 

Yet craving, we are taught by spiritual teachers, is the source of all human suffering.  And the the only thing worth pursuing truly is the eternal, the changeless and the infinite. The thing standing in our way of attaining that ( which is already in us) is not only our desires, The great way is not difficult for those who have no preferences (Third Zen Patriarch)...but this identity of "me". We are not here to build and serve  an identity that will wax and wane like the tides. We are here to get past our human identity for the truth of what lay beneath it. We need to die to be reborn. 

So what are you going to do crazy lady?

I don't know.

But here I am anyway, trying to figure it all out. I am hoping this  site will prove to be a wonderful place where I can  put my heart and my mind in a way that is not on me, but on you.

All is well. 

James Clear ( 2018) Atomic Habits. New York: Avery

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe( April 21, 2024) Make Spirituality the Polestar of  Your Life. https://tou.org/talks/

Satisfactoriness and Habit Change.

 Thus suffering, unlike unsatisfactoriness, is not inherent in the phenomena of the world, only in the way the awakened mind experiences them. This is indeed the underlying theme of the Four Noble Truths as a whole: the suffering caused by attachment and craving can be overcome by awakening. For an aharant, the unsatisfactory nature of all phenomena is no longer capable of causing suffering.

Analayo  per Joseph Goldstein, page 289

Does James Clear Get This Truth? 

I find I go back and forth upon reading Atomic Habits, questioning if it is expressing some deep spiritual realization that will bring us closer to the end of suffering through the ultimate  habit change (awakening), or if it will  just keep us stuck in the never ending chase for satisfaction. Clear speaks about satisfactoriness and suffering  in Atomic Habits, implying an understanding of The Noble Truths to some degree. 

He says, for example, near the end of the book that ...the source of all suffering is a desire for a change of state.(page 262) This reflects an understanding of the Buddha's teachings. He takes it a bit away from spirituality, however,  and into the concept of human progress when he says,This is also the source of all progress.  The desire to change your state requires you to take action. (Page 262 ). Is he saying that suffering is good because it steers us back to human progress as we seek to take action to  escape the present moment we are in? Is he implying that spiritual progress is secondary to human progress? If so, is that not the opposite of acceptance and the be here now principal?  

He also writes that peace is all about what happens in our minds, not about the  fixing of what we are observing. It is about not turning these things we are noticing...the Life that is unfolding in front of us into a problem...When we can observe [from Objective Awareness] without craving or wanting to fix it all, realizing that we don't have to, we will be experiencing peace or a deep sense of satisfaction. That is the basis for most of the spiritual teachings I talk about here.   You are simply observing and existing. page 260. This echoes the above quote.

And of course in Yoga it is all about self-control...controlling the rippling of the  mind when it comes ro our tendency for craving, satisfaction, and desire. Self control requires you to relase a desire rather than satisfy it. page 262.

Clear's book is aimed at building wholesome habits and deconstructing unwholesome ones. Habit tendencies are often spoken about in most spiritual teachings. Mostly in regards to how we need to break though the "unwholesome" tendencies rather than to build on the wholesome ones. Being free of suffering is basically all about being free of these tendencies.  So it is more about being free of habits all together. Yet, I can see the benefit to the human experience if we do build wholesome habits. How do we build wholesome habits, while tearing down the unwholesome ones? We can use satisfactoriness or a lack of. The more a behaviour is rewarded with pleasure or a sense of satisfaction, the more it will be repeated. In terms of habit change: The more a behaviour is punished with unpleasantness or a sense of dissatisfaction, the more it will be avoided.  (page 186)

Hmm! Thoughts are not yet clear on how to relate Clear's teachings to what I have learned so far on my 'spiritual' path. (It is all spiritual, isn't it? How can it be anything but?) 

Anyway, will return. All is well.

Joseph Goldstein, (2016) Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Awakening. Boulder: Sounds True

James Clear ( 2018) Atomic Habits. New York: Avery

Tiny Habit Changes and The Bigger Picture

 

From the moment we are given awareness about some bigger picture or mission, we have to have complete focus on what to do to get to that place. 

Yehuda Berg

I am a little off as I sit here to write this morning. I discovered that  a hyperlink of a published poem in one of my recently read  posts led to another site all together. It left me with an uneasy feeling as to why and how that happened. More importantly, I couldn't help but wonder if I was responsible for it. Did I expose that poetry site to something malicious from this site?  Are those bots that are constantly swarming my site not so harmless? It was one thing when I thought they just had the potential to harm my site but if they are infiltrating into other sites because of me, that is another thing all together.  Man...I don't want that. I feel uneasy. If that is the case I will need to shut down here all together and that to me is like leaving  home when I really don't want to go, all becasue I let in some bad guests that took over. 

For now, until I figure this out...(in truth it could have nothing to do with me or maybe it was an innocent selling of a Domain site?  I really, really do not know how this works) I am going to try to keep on with my review of Atomic Habits. Hmm. They, on this Thai site the link takes me to, do call themselves a "Book Review" site and I do review a lot of books...there I go again making assumptions. 

For now all is innocent until I prove otherwise:

So back to the book. Want to begin by saying I like it! I truly do. The writing is absolutely fantastic!  It was so well researched and put together. It was an excellent book with some wonderful information in it. I am really, really pushing my daughters to read it because I can see it helping them tremendously. I can see it helping me. 

So my main point was, I guess, does this focus on habit change  serve those of us on a quest for something more than ego satisfaction in terms of worldly success? I am going to make that my main focus.

To begin, I will start by saying "wholesome" habit change serves the human. If it serves the human, it will serve the Being, Soul, Self, Consciousness, Energy field etc...whatever you want to call it. Though body, mind, and heart are only parts of who we are and not who we are at the deepest level, it is important to keep them wholesome and moving freely on the path to more. ( "More" here meaning at the deeper level. )

As humans we are meant to grow and expand continously...as Consciousness we are meant to grow and expand outward from this human form we are somewhat contained in.  Growth and expansion is everything. Clear reminds us of that over and over again in the book.  It is a never ending process. One of the first things he teaches in Chapter One is that it isn't so much about the goals but about the process or systems we are using. 

It is unlikely that your actual path through life will match the exact journey you had in mind when you set out. [This is a basic spiritual truth.]...When you fall in love with the process rather than the product, you dont have to wait to give yourself permission to be happy. You can be satisfied anytime your system is running. ...True long term thinking is about goal-less thinking. It is not about any single accomplishment. It is about the cycle of endless refinement and continous improvement. Ultimately, it is your committment to the process that will determine your progress.  page 26-27

Habit change and spirituality are all about the bigger picture!

All is well.

James Clear (2018) Atomic Habits. New York: Avery

 

Do Not Open this link:

http://www.soul-lit.com/poems/V30/Daley/index.html

I wrote a poem for  an online literary journal called "Soul lit"  years ago and I innocently included the link in an entry.  When I went to open it I found it in a different language with all this hyperlinked casino gibberish at the bottom, and in the side bars. It was called Soul Lit in English ( for the SEO, I assume) before going off into Thai and it referred to itself as a book review site. One cannot get in past that? I tried opening the site by using Google search and opened up to the same thing.Was the link hijacked and am I responsible for that? Oh man...there was some wonderful poetry on that site from some truly great poets. Is this what these bots are doing on my site? Looking for links to hijack? Or is this just a coincidental thing...maybe Soul lit sold its domain and this is all innocent?  

I need to report and investigate more.  My apologies if I am responsible for any of this somehow. 

Atomic Habits

 

That's the power of atomic habits. Small changes. Remarkable results.

James Clear (page 253)

I am about to start sharing the wisdom from a little book I just finished by James Clear called Atomic Habits. As I read and then studied the book passage by passage, I found myself in a bit of emotional turmoil. I questioned if this book lined up well with what I am discovering to be true, or did it offer directions to a contrary path? 

• In one breath it felt like Clear was supporting those truths I am picking up from Yoga, Buddhism, the Vedas, about the spiritual mandate for life, and in another breath it felt like he was supporting ego's mandate. 
• What was he saying about "craving" exactly? Was he saying that it was the source of all suffering, as the Buddha taught, or a positive motivation that can lead us from suffering into "success"? 
• This habit stacking, and this commitment to seek one new thing after another he writes about with the intenton of keeping ourselves challenged, is that not a glorious form of distraction...reinforcing society's problem of not being able to sit still and do nothing? 
• And this talk about making  a habit  a part of our identity....I love focusing more on what we are than what we do...but we do not want to reinforce "identity" do we? 
• I do love what he says about beliefs and how they are learned, how we are conditioned to believe what we believe, and how these beliefs can get in the way of us being the best versions of us we can be. 
• I aree 100% that beliefs need to be edited. 
• He is basically talking about samskaras and psyches, is he not, when he discusses how our identity is our "repeated beingness"...how we learn to repeat behaviours or avoid repeating behaviours based on the experiences we had with them and on the beliefs that grow from these experiences? 
• The thing I question though...is the whole premise of this book, then,  about serving this self-image which I call the ego? 
• Is the process of building habits the process of building yourself? (Page 37). 
• What self? The little me self or the Greater Self? 
• What does he see as progress and success? Is it internal or external? 
• I like how he describes suffering as being the space between craving a change in state and getting it. (Page 260) 
• What about being here now?
• Change of state I can see as something that relieves suffering but is he stating that craving and wanting is good because they lead to suffering and suffering motivates us to go after what we want?
• What is the wisest course of action?  Are we to go after what we want? Or are we to settle with what is?

Anyway, I will look into these questions and do my best to answer them.

All is well. 

James Clear (2018) atomic Habits. New York: Avery

Be Soft and Supple

 Men are born soft and supple; 

dead they are stiff and hard.

Plants are born tender and pliant; 

dead, they are brittle and dry.

Thus who is ever stiff and inflexible 

is a disciple of death.

Whoever is soft and yielding 

is a disciple of life.

The hard and stiff will be broken. 

The soft and supple will prevail. 

Lao Tzu, Chapter 76 Tao Te Ching

We really do need to let Life do what it is doing and flow with it rather than against it. We need to let go of our personal preferences that Life should be a certain way to suit us. 

And as Michael Singer says,

If you really do not want to let go of your preferences, then prefer everything. 

All is well

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Unverse (April 14, 2024) Spirituality Embraces Science. https://tou.org/talks/

Both Willful and Beyond Will

There are two distinct stages to the spiritual path: One that is willful and one  that is completely beyond will.

Michael A. Singer

I think these two stages work together.  First, you need to be willing to do the work of getting free; willing to point your focus inward rather than outward; willing to let go of all your samskaras and habit formations; and willing to take your hands off the reins so that which is beyond will can do what it is naturally inclined to do. What is this thing? It is Chit Shakti...or conscious energy. What is in the way of it? You are with all your preferring and resistance. So what do we do crazy lady?

Well as you are making a conscious committment to break free of your habits of clinging and pushing away (we will be talking a lot about habits in a bit as I am completing my review of Atomic Habits by James Clear), and as you are opening up....the second stage  takes place. You need to relax...let go, accept, and surrender to what is as the Chit Shakti rises in you. 

Our deeply rooted preferences make certain behaviours easier for some people than for others. James Clear, page 121

Seems so simple, doesn't it? It isn't as easy as it seems. It is a challenge to break through our conditioning, and habits are a by product of that conditioning, but it can be done! We can break our habits of "little me" focus and be free. We can!

More and more, I see how both the refocusing of my will power and the letting go of my tendency to use it to Self-destruct in a convuluted way in order to protect the  little self is setting me free.  I am getting lighter and lighter in here. A lot more of the world can pass right through me now.  That is pretty cool. If I can get here to this point, anyone can!

All is well! 

James Clear ( 2018) Atomic Habits. New York: Avery

 Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe ( April 18, 2024) Exploring the Power of Will. https://tou.org/talks/

Atoms and Atman

 The western scientist seeks for unity in the atom or the molecule.[ Remember this was said in the the late 1890's, long before the discovery of bosons, leptons, and quarks, when the smallest particle of matter was believed to be the atom.] When he finds it, there is nothing further for him to discover, and so when we find that Unity of Soul or Self, which is called the Atman, we can go no further.  It becomes clear that everything in the sense world is a manifestation of that One Substance.[What physicists are now beginning to realize.]

Vivekananda, page 193 Lectures and Discourses

What is that One Substance that manifests as everything? It is the One Consciousness. It is God. 

We aare that Consciousness lost in the objects of it.  Our evolution to understanding that occurs at many levels. 

All is well

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe (April 15, 2024) Exploring th Layers of Spiritual Growth. https://tou.org/talks/

Getting Disturbed by Atoms?

 Science is good.  If you dare to look at it, it forces you to get real.

Michael A. Singer

If we could look at the thing or person in front of us that appears to be causing us grief, as just a bunch of atoms (and of course, bosons, leptons and quarks) bonding together to create whatever that is...than man, how could we be disturbed? We would be too busy saying. "Wow!" Wouldn't we? 

All is well. 

Awake?

 What the world wants is character. The world is in need of those whoses life is one burning love, selfless. That love will make everyword tell like thunderbolt....Bold words and bolder deeds are what we want. Awake, awake, great ones! The world is burning with misery. Can you sleep?

Swami Vivekananda ( Meditation and Its Methods, page 74)

Hmmm! Are you started to awaken yet? How bold are your words and your deeds? 

All is well.

No End to Education

 There is no end to education. It is not that you read a book, pass an examination, and finish with education. The whole of life, from the moment you are born to the moment you die, is a process of learning.

Jiddu Krishnamurtri

As I listened to Michal Singer's podcast this morning, I was a bit distracted.  I have been lightly pondering if I should pursue a Masters in Education thesis ( Adult Ed) and ideas were coming to me as he spoke. 

What? How did that come up, crazy lady? 

I have many years of accumulated university credits (about 8 and a half  to nine years worth) and if we were to add in the diplomas and certificates I have earned that can not be directly credited to Canadian Universities, I have about 12 years worth of formal education. Twelve years is a lot of time spent in the post secondary learning environment, is it not?  But, here is the crux of it all:  I only have one degree. So, on paper I am not all that educated. 

 As someone who simply loves learning, I never "planned" my learning experiences well enough to ensure a certain outcome.  I just wanted to learn.  I would see this course or that course and say, "Man that would be interesting." and I would take it. I would  have this idea or that idea about some little project I could add to my life: counselling, photography, fitness leadership, creative and academic writing, writing for children, teaching English as a second language, Yoga teaching, public speaking, Meditation teaching, and becoming a "Positive Psychology Practitioner" (whatever  the heck that is), and I would take the courses needed,  accumulating credits and what not. I told myself, "Someday.  Maybe I will wrap up what I can from all this learning with  a pretty bow of some type of degree or degrees."  My learning was seldom done for the outcome of getting a degree.

I mean, I did start taking graduate courses years ago, when I was still working at the college, in the hope of getting a Masters in Adult Education. Life, however, pulled me away from that (and my job), in the way that Life sometimes does when she has other plans for us. I found myself pulled away from outcome focus and into a situation that allowed me to enjoy learning what I could simply for the joy of learning.  Regardless, here I am with years of formal education, not to mention even more years of accumulated  informal learning. (I probably have reference notes tucked away from over 3000 books I have dissected over the years, for example.  The learning from these books  has become a part of my accumulated learning.)  I truly am a very self directed, life-long learner with so much learning to share. On paper, however, unless one asks for my transcripts, diplomas and certificates on top of my degrees, I do not appear  educated enough to share much beyond my degree focus.  Ego doesn't like that!

So though the greater part of me, that I am becoming more and more in tune with, doesn't need that social or professional recognition, doesn't need to wrap itself up in a bow with a Latin tag, Ego still cries out to be recognized. Ego has been getting a bit antsy  in this new little job venture I have taken on.  The greater part of me has taken it on for higher reasons: to serve, to share what I have, to connect with people, for the challenge, and for the learning and growth a new experience offers. I know I am and can do a great job but ego is squirming in the background saying, "We need to prove ourselves here on paper.  We need some type of specific paperwork that says we are qualified for this. I don't like this feeling of 'not being enough'. Make it go away! " 

How does my mind tell me to make it go away? "Get that bow with the Latin tag."

So to appease Ego, I looked into at least getting a second undergrad. I have enough credits for a BA but in my role, Ego assures me, I need something with "education" in the title. I have a certificate in Adult Ed and graduate courses in Adult Ed...as well as twenty years experience in Adult Ed...surely I could finish my BEd  with another course or two, at the most. Another course or two was doable. So, I checked out that route, only to find out that they cannot accept my graduate courses, nor PLAR me for more than six credits. I would therefore need to take another 18 credit hours...a realization my mind, my age, and my pockets, just did not seem ready to accept for another undergrad.  

"Now what??!!" Ego hisses. "What are we going to do now? We have to make this feeling of appearing 'not enough' go away!"

What could I do that would give me a piece of paper that tied up all my learning  with one pretty bow while proving to others that I was indeed qualified to call myself an "educator";  enough, at least, to make ego shut up; and that was also not too time consuming or expensive for me at this age? 

Then it dawned on me.  I could write a thesis paper. I could write 100 pages on adult learning, couldn't I?  After all, I had a very abnormal learning journey. That must be worth something.  I could even incorporate my major learning into a paper about how adults can learn theoretically and experientially  through understanding the basic philosophies of Yoga....maybe how we should "not be so attached to the Fruits of action" that we fail to  seek learning for learning's sake, as I have done. Hmm! So many ideas were coming to me as Michael Singer spoke this morning. So, though it is still just a possibility and a "what if", I am now looking into writing a Master's Thesis. 

Will it be time consuming?  Not necessarily for me. Researching the right types of academic papers etc may take time but writing 100 pages...no sweat. Not that I particularly like writing education papers (end up with more words inside brackets at the end of each sentence than you do actual written text) but I could do it. I love writing.

Expensive? Yeah, education is expensive. Especially graduate level education...but thesis work has to be less expensive than course, doesn't it? This could prove to be a very expensive endeavour that is apparently beyond my financial ability right now, but the light shines on this: Apparently the government will sometimes help support a Master's thesis?  I can look into that option anyway.

If I were to put all that expense, time, effort into getting a degree, would it really satisfy Ego? No, I know better.  Ego, by nature, cannot and will not be satisfied for long. A piece of paper is not going to make me a better educator and it is not going to make me happy.  Nothing out there can do that!  If I do this for the soul reason of satisfying ego, I will be setting myself up for suffering. Maybe, just maybe, though...Life and Greater Me wants this for other reasons. Maybe it could prove to be a means of validating and publishing learning that will benefit others.  I don't know.

At this point, I am just thinking and questioning, as I look into this possibility. I have no idea if Life will pull me towards this, or if, for whatever reason, She will pull me away. Either way, it is all good.

All is well in my world. 

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe ( Thursday, April 11, 2024) Witness Consciousness-Returning to the One that sees. https://tou.org/talk

The Unconscious Pattern of "Would Rather Be"

 Drop into the present moment directly.

Eckhart Tolle

We have a tendency, don't we? A mental pattern of wishing we were anywhere but here and now. I am thinking of all the bumper stckers I see on cars I am driving behind: "I would rather be fishing!"  "I would rather be sleeping". "I would rather be in another city or country. etc" I have my tea cup beside me with a  caption on it, "I would rather be doing yoga!" (Hmm! That is a bit of an oxymoron, isn't it to put "doing" , "rather be", and "yoga" in the same sentence?) 

Anyway we gotta stop "rathering" and start being in the moments we are n. 

All is well.

Eckhart Tolle ( April 1, 2024) The Art of Presence-Guided Meditation. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=shCeh3_WPzY

"Ain't too bad! Getting by"?

 You cant control what is unfolding but you can control how you process it...You have a right to enjoy your life!

Michael A. Singer (Somewhat paraphrased possibly? Taken from notes where I forgot to add quoatation marks...my bad!)

You enjoying your life? Hmm! That's a tough question for many of us to answer. Around my part of the world we might answer like this, "Sure! It aint too bad. Getting by." We so often tend to equate "not too bad and getting by" with joy. 

There is, however, a big difference between "not too bad...getting by..." and joy.  Not too bad might mean we are not in physical pain 24 hours a day; that we are enduring what Life is throwing our way and  making the best of a hard situation.  It might mean we haven't had our houses blown away by a Tornado...yet...so it is all good! It might mean that our white knuckle clinging to the tail end of  a relationship that could have ended long ago...is still working.  We are not alone.  It could mean we still have that minimum paying  job we hate going to...and considering the unemployment rate, that's a positive thing. It could mean that we have a good Netflix series to binge on every night or that we are able to get up every morning, take a shower, and get on with it.

Hmm! That is getting by, but just getting by is a far cry from joy, is it not?  What we experience above. I believe, is a very common form of suffering in the desensitized state.  Huh? It is not joy, it is  a collective form of suffering that we have  "settled" for and have come to believe is not only normal, but all there is. It is numbingly and unconsciousnly  living below, well below, what we are capable of experiencing, and doing so in collective, socially approved way. But it aint joy!

Yoga teaches that there is so much more to life than this. It teaches us how to process Life with joy. We just have to refocus and look in, up, and away from this conditioned way of being and doing we have come to see as normal. There is an abundant river of joy flowing within all of us.  We can experience it.  We can enjoy our lives!

All is well

Michael Singer; Temple of the Universe ( April 8, 2024) Ceasing to let your mind limit your happiness.https://tou.org/talks/

Cosmic Reality

 As God is omnipresent in the Cosmos but undisturbed by its variety, so man who as a soul is individualized Spirit, must learn to participate in the cosmic drama with a perfectly poised and equilibrated mind. 

Yoganada

Most times the focus we have on the cosmic drama is so narrow and tiny we fail to see the cosmos. Yesterday, in my part of the world that was in the Eclipse's perfect viewing line, we looked up and away from "little me" to the miracle of the Universe.  We saw a glimpse of the majesty of cosmic reality.

All is well.

The World Beyond the Gates

Returning to the World Beyond the Gates

The Cherubim stands at the garden gate

with its fiery sword of fear and fate,

And I banished, fallen from Grace,

run upon this wheel in fevered pace. 

In fear of sword and fire's mark

I run from light into the dark.

The  sweet voice of angels I can hear

calling me back to face this fear

but the clatter of the hamster wheel 

makes their song seem so  surreal.

With no success, I grasp, cling and push away 

just to make this world out here okay.

When the wheel stops, with trembling hand,

I build a flimsy house upon the sand,

that leans and bows with every gust of wind,

with walls that  echo my ghastly sin. 

The sweet maternal callings get drowned out

as I push and pull and hammer about,

pretending that all is fine and good

with every nail that pierces wood. 

I try to stuff and hide the pain of loss

behind each wall. That comes at cost.

With one big wind this mess I made inside

gets blown out upon the  world wide,

coloring it all as a projection of my sin

and I suddenly know I will never win. 

I am lost in this existence  mind creates

and I long to return to the world beyond the gates.

I take a slow breath and stand up tall 

I turn around to face the wall.

With a heart beating wildly in my chest

I commit with breath to do my best.

Grasping courage,  I face the beast  I knew

knowing the only real way out of pain is through. 

Push by push and step by step,

with anger spent, and tears all wept,

I make my way through pain and fear

until the world of illusion is at my rear,

and the cherubim, just dust and air,

is blown away with my despair. 

Without the need for victory or for fame, 

the ground behind, I once again reclaim . 

Beyond the gate is our souls' reprieve, 

a home we, without  delusion, never leave.

Upon this solid sacred ground

the peace we long for, will be found. 

© Dale-Lyn, May, 2023

I was reminded of this poem I wrote last year after listening to another Temple of the Universe Podcast on the Fall from the Garden. The podcast I listened to today (from yesterday) inspired me to put it here. 

All is well.

Michael Singer/ Temple of the Universe ( April 7, 2014) Finding Your Way Back to the Garden.https://tou.org/talks/

The Victorious Dance of Prakriti and Spirit

 Such is the life-story of each one of us; such is the tremendous power of nature over us. It repeatedly kicks us away, but we still pursue it with feverish excitement.

Vivekananda, page 63 

Whereas Vivekananda describes the relationship between spirit and nature as a kick boxing match, Singer and Yogananda describe it as a dance. 

Spirit and nature dancing together, Victory to spirit and victory to nature! Yogananda

Nature in yogic terms, is Prakriti. It is the physical world as we know it.

Why did God create this world?

Meher Baba answered that question with, "On a whim?" 

One whimisical  twirling, swirling, or twirling movement in a dance led to the creation of all this that we see? Hmm! Ironically, Meher Baba originally a Zoroastrian, was a twirling Devirsh...No wonder why he woud see it in that way?

We are here, according to Singer, merely as Ambassadors of the One Spirit/ the One Consciousness to explore, observe, and experience this world of Prakriti/nature. We are here to dance with it, not to get lost in it, as it is so easy to do.  Don't let nature lead; don't resist the dance; and don't try to control it. Let Spirit and nature dance together in the perfect harmony they are capable of, while we simply enjoy being a part of it all.

All is well. 

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the niverse ( Thursday, April 4,2024)The Dance of  Consciousness and Creation. https://tou.org/talks/

Swami Vivekananda (2018) Meditation and Its Methods. Kindle Edition

A Shishya?

Not to examine the teacher is like drinking poison, not to examine the disciple is like leaping from a precipice.

Padmasambahva

Hmmm! I am purposefully a day or two behind in my Michael Singer podcast listening.  I decided to spread the magic out a bit ...to limit the days without a listen. So, I  just listened to Thursday's podcast from Temple of the Universe, and I was once again like: Wow! I get it! Everything resonates so deeply within me. 

Some of the things Michael Singer spoke about, I wrote about in recent entries. Yesterday, I wrote about my vision in meditation and about the learning/reminder that came from it: pull your eyes away from the samskara full psyche layer we are all so attached to, and trace every bit of light that emerges from beneath it up to the Source. Somehow, this morning's podcast reflected that/echoed that. Or maybe my consciousness is just echoing what I have learned from him. I don't know anymore. lol I wrote what I wrote before I listened to this podcast. 

What is it about Michael Singer, as a teacher, that pulls this learner I call "me" in?

For some reason, I am pulled to his teaching in particular. My morning, no longer feels right until I listen to him.  As I reflect on that, I get a little antsy.  Though I respect him as a teacher and person, I do not want to be attached to any teachers.  I don't want to see anyone, especially another Westerner, as a Guru. I don't want to blindly get lost. I watched too many documentaries, I guess, about yoga gurus gone bad. The words "guru" and "disciple" don't resonate well inside me and I tend to resist them.

Yet, here I am connecting so much on a level I cannot understand. And I come here every morning and I listen, I take notes, I reflect on those notes, I mash them around in my mind, with all the other stuff I have learned, studied, read, heard or have come to know through expereince.  Then I spit it all out on the page. 

Practicing Yoga for a Long Time, Even When It Wasn't Cool

I have been studying and practicing yoga for over a quarter of a century now.  (Man...it surprises me to look back and realize that I began practicing yoga, in tiny ways, way back in the 90's...thirty years ago.)
It has, since then,  become an integral part of my life, long before I even heard of Michael Singer. 

My committment to learning about yoga and practicing it always seemed to be a very isolated and often misunderstood one(even for me). Yet...the pull was so strong. The only way I can desribe my attraction to yoga is as , " being pulled toward this learning even when my ego  was digging its heals into the ground screaming, "Noooo!" It was so in contrast to what "little me" wanted.

"The natural behaviour of the tribe often overpowers the desired behaviour of the individual." (James Clear, page 120)

I always felt  and did my best to adhere to that natural need to fit in, not to stand out.  Yoga would make me stand out, especially in my community where few people knew what yoga actually was. My desired behaviour, surprisingly, overpowered the tribe's.   So, when I realized I couldn't resist the pull forever, when my curiosity became stronger than my resistance,  I  succumbed to it and I began to "quietly" practice.  I told few people about it. Teaching it, then , was definitely not going to be in the picture for a few deacdes! 

Those who were close to me, however,  were aware of my practice, no matter how private I made it. They watched me practicing my asanas and attempting to relax in meditation.  They could see that I always had my head in a book about spirituality or becoming a better person.  They observed that I always listened to things people deemed as woo-woo or even blasphemous.  Back in the  90's most of the people around me thought Yoga was a taboo practice physically, mentally  and spiritually. I got lectures from the instructors in the fitness trainer course I took that Hatha Yoga was harmful to the body and that all yoga poses should be avoided for liability reasons. I got lectures from concerned family members that what I was learning about could be taking me mentally away from reality.  They even questioned if my yoga curiosity was a symptom of a mental illness. I got lectures from"born again" loved ones about how evil yoga and meditation was. At one poin,t I was asked to sit down to a video of yogis experiencing ecstacy during meditation practice, so I would see  how the devil can enter  us at those times we are weakened by such evil practices. 

So as you can see, Yoga...was not the normal path to pursue, in my part of the world, at the time I started. As James Clear says in, Atomic Habits, "Running against the grain of your culture requires extra effort." page 121. Practicing Yoga was running against the grain. Something inside me, not my people-pleasing ego, but Something, however,  was more than willing to put that effort in, to run against the grain in this practice, if in none other. It pulled me in. I became a yogi. 

As Yoga became more and more accepted in my part of the world, if not fully understood,(Hatha Yoga became a trendy thing here a decade or so ago), I became a little more open about my practice and what I was studying.  It wasn't until about 2017, though, that I started publically writing about yoga and waking up in my blog. ( for many years it was private).  It was not until 2018, that I became a Hatha teacher, though I have been practicing Hatha for 30 years.  And it wasn't until around that time, that I first heard of a western Yogi named Michael Singer.  There were many, many teachers indirectly in my life before him. Many were amazing, having a wonderful impact on my learning. Yet, here I am now... decades after beginning this sadhanna...wondering why I am so drawn to what he says, why I feel a connection to him.

I read this from Vivekananda last night before falling asleep. It didn't dawn on me until this very moment why I fell asleep to those words. (I had no idea I was going to be writing about this, this morning.)  

The soul can only receive impulses from another soul, and from nothing else. We may study books all our lives, we may become very intellectual, but in the end we find that we have not developed at all spirituality...To quicken the spirit, the impulse must come from another soul. The person from whose soul such impulse comes is called the Guru-the teacher; and the person whose soul the impulse is conveyed is called the Shishya-the student. Page 66

Man...it really is a soul to soul thing, isn't it?  Whether I resist the words "Guru" and "disciple" or not; whether I insist that I will not blindly follow another human being or not...doesn't matter. It isn't about "me". Just as this "me" could not stop me from being pulled into the practice of Yoga...this "me" cannot prevent me from being a Shishya. There may actually be something to this Guru/student thing, traditional yoga insists upon. I don't know.  

I am not sure Singer is my guru...I just know my soul is drawn to his soul, for whatever reason,  just as my soul was drawn to yoga. Sigh!!! It is all so amazing.

All is well!

James Clear (2018) Atomic Habits. Avery: New York

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe ( Thursday, April 4,2024)The Dance of  Consciousness and Creation. https://tou.org/talks/

• 
  

Look Up and Let the Shakti Free Itself

 

The word "Shakti" means power. Shakti, the innate power in reality has five faces. It manifests as the power to be conscious, the power to feel ecstacy, the power of will or desire, the power to know, and the power to act.

Sally Kempton

I had this vision this morning when I was meditating, followed by a host of thoughts and questions. I would like to share it with you.

Part way through my meditation, a vision came to me. I could see a long hollow tunnel (the Sushumna, I assume)  and blocking that tunnel were a bunch of broken shale rocks thrown in over it in a haphazard way...like a collapse over a cave...( Samskaras, I assume). Through that shale rock blockage there were streams of light emerging...beautiful light being pulled upward by some force on top of the head. The Source was pulling the light up, back to It.  When I followed the direction of that little streams of light  I looked up to see a beautiful  lotus flower with a thousand petals hovering over the cranium. That lotus flower had all the forces of nature working with it to pull this light and whatever is beneath the rock cover up: electromagneticism, gravity, strong nuclear force, weak nucler force...and something else non-yogi scientists, at this point, have yet to discover, but something yogis have known about for a long, long time. 

That was my vision and it led me to think of so many things after the meditation. 

Insights and Thoughts

To begin. I don't understand it but  I know, I feel more energetic and happy, or at least less heavy and down, whenever I follow the direction that light is going. I know that looking up is freedom, looking to the Source of the light rather than what the light is shining on is the thing to do.

 But I am also very curious about this rock blockage. I know that something amazing is trapped beneath it. Even though looking at the rock pile (and the garbage trapped in it) narrows my focus and brings my energy down so much...I know, without fully knowing why, that what is below that blockage is even more light and a Source of something I  will never understand the full power of with my mere mind. (Shakti)

  When I look through the cracks this light is coming through, in my meditation,  I can see and hear the churning of a powerful water and light source against the inside of these rocks. This force is naturally inclined to go where the light is going. It is being pulled to that Source of light but the rocks are in the way.  This buried force contains so much energy and intention to go up but it is blocked. So it turns like a whirlpool, around and around, pushing and crashing against the rocks, moving them a smidgeon upward with every crash.  And the rocks are moving...they are loosening and shifting...getting closer and closer to the top where with a small gentle push from this trapped whirpool they can come to the surface to be released, one rock at a time...leaving another crack for the light and splashes of this soothing, healing water to come through, while relieving the pressure a bit on the inside.  

There is orderly intention here in what seems like random and uncomfortable chaos. This force inside is doing what it is intended to. It is painfully freeing itself and purifying us so we are more spacious to accept Life as it is.   Though, it is certainly not comfortable to have these rocks rumbling around inside us, pushed by such a strong force...it is happening for a reason.  The rocks are not meant to be there and the force is attempting to free itself. It will. 

That is, of course, if more rocks from the outside are not shovelled in on top adding to the blockage of rock (and garbage). That is, of course, if we do not continue to push it back down so we don't have to feel it or experience it, by using defense mechanisms like suppression or repression..

Questions:

This is where the questions start coming into my mind, as if from another questioner asking me if I know the answers. I don't know the answers. lol  Yet, I feel compelled to answer...not from my very much unevolved ego mind but from a place that is suddenly emerging from beneath it as I write. 

If there is some undiscovered force inside us waiting to emerge, why would anyone shovel more stuff in on top of what could be one of the most amazing archeological digs the human species could ever take part in, crazy lady? Who or what would prevent such an earth shattering  discovery? 

The Unevolved and resistant human mind would. The psyche, which is intent on preserving itself and this illusion, would.  

WTF? You doing shrooms?

Just let me take you to what I could see through meditation today (btw: my life practice and my meditation are drug free lol). This blockage I was looking at is more or less the psyche...the sum of all learned experiences, a massive and heavy  collection of samskaras: all the things I stored from life experience that I didn't deal with.

Didn't deal with?

Yes, the stuff I didn't just let pass through; didn't just observe and experience as a part of this amazing journey of being human; the stuff I judged, desired, craved, clung to; the stuff I feared and pushed away. With every preference I shovelled some of this shale rock in.  With every aversion I buried the amazing Force even more. I erronously thought for most of my life that the glimpses of  light, in the form of peace, happiness, joy etc,  I was experiencing were coming from out there and it was up to me to grab what I could and  determine just how much to let in. I resisted so much of my life experience because I thought it was my job to do so.  I feared what would happen if I didn't. I created this mess inside me...and then with every uncomfortable shift of shale rock I pushed down even more;  I shovelled even more in, hoping that would stop the uncomfortable shifting inside. When every rock  came to the surface, and therefore to my conscious awareness...I panicked in fear and I pushed it back down. not seeing what was truly happening.  I was widening and strengtheing the blockage, making things worse.

I did this!  I created this mess inside me.  I blocked  this force from going to the Source.  I created this mess and then I stared at what I created so intently and so narrowly that I began to believe that this was all there was.  I identified with  this collection of samskaras, this psyche. My stored stuff/ this rock/garbage pile became "me".  For most of my life, I didn't see, as "me",  that both the little streams of light that managed to escape and the turbulence  I too often was feeling, was coming from below the blockage  not from out there.  I didn't see, as "me",  that there was nothing I was supposed to do  about what Life unfolded in front of me...that it wasn't mine to fix...in fact, it didn't need to be fixed for it was perfect as it was. I didn't see, as frightened, "seperate me", that I ws simply here to observe it all and experience it all, and that without the blockage it would all be so amazing! I didn't see, as "me", that all life experiences are just meant to flow in and flow out as part of this amazing dance. I didn't see, as "me", that I was never meant to judge any of it, cling to any of it, push any of it away or resist any of it! I didn't see as "me", that it was all much bigger than "me" and my puny little psyche.  

Can you see now?

I can truly see now that Life will take care of herself and that this grasping, clinging, preferring, desiring, judging, selecting, pushing away and resisting I have been doing all my life is what created this blockage.  I also see, though I still nose dive or smash into it from time to time, I am not the blockage.  I am  simply observing it.

So is it our job to dismantle this psyche? To execavate and dig and pull each samskara rock we put there away so we can get to what is beneath?

No, We  have already done enough.  It is time to leave it up to Life.  We couldn't carry all these rocks away if we wanted to...they are too big and too heavy. Our job, if we have one,  is to simply step back and let this force inside us do what it knows to do.  Let it rumble and disturb the rocks, bringing them to the surface for release. We just need to get out of the way. It won't be comfortable, and even down right painful at times, but so be it! It will cleanse us and set us free, if we let it. Getting out of the way, also means not  pushing down or shovelling more stuff in. A hands off approach is needed here...a releasing and a letting go is needed here. An acceptance of what is is needed here.

What about the beams of light that are escaping from the rock pile?

Follow them.  We can begin with meditation. Instead of staring down at the mess, envision light emerging from the cracks; and  trace that stream of light, no matter how tiny, back to the Source.  In my meditative vision I saw a thousand petal lotus at the top of my head as the Source pulling that light up.  That is because I practice yoga and recognize the seventh chakra.  It is also because I  often use the mantra "Om Mani Padme Hum", which means "the jewel of the lotus"...which  takes us to the Source of all.  That was just my vision...use whatever comes to mind when you think of God, a higher power, the Source of all this. Follow the light back to that, follow the light back to who you really are.

You are not the rock pile blockage, the psyche, the body and the mind...you are that which is experiencing these things.  Remember that. So look for light emerging through cracks in this "me drama" you are so caught up in, in your every day experiences. This light, of course, represents every splash of higher energy emotion you experience: peace, happiness, joy, love etc. Everytime you feel good, follow the light up.  Ask:  Where is this truly coming from? The thing I just baught? The  nice thing that person just said to me? This pleasant outer experience? Or is something being released in me? Am I opening up to this light and this flow?

 It is something within you...there is something opening up within you, allowing the light out.   Follow that back to its Source! It is an inward tracing, not an outer one. Let the Shakti free itself and you. 

Oops!

Wow! I just meant to tell you about the nice vision I had during meditation and how it made so much sense to me.  I didn't mean to bore you to death with my rambling. lol

All I wanted to say, in summary...is there is a samskara layer inside you of your own making, blocking the flow of Shakti back to the Source. Stand back and allow Life, nature, and this Shakti to do what it knows what to do without getting in the way ( no more resisting, no more pushing down, no more shovelling in). And while it is causing a lot of shifting inside you as it frees itself, embrace the light that emerges from each new crack. Follow each beam  back to the Source.  You will discover amazing things there. You will find Who you really are there.

All is well. 

Cursed?

 Be grateful to him who curses you, for he gives you a mirror to show what cursing is, also a chance to practice self-restraint; so bless him and be glad. Without exercise, power cannot come out; without the mirror, we cannot see ourselves...

Vivekananda

I am presently being cursed for the "sins" of my offspring. A mirror is being held up to me so I can see. The image staring back at me is partially responsible, in some indirect way for the choices my off spring made. Something I said or did; something I didn't say or do; something I modelled; something I carried in me that boiled up and out of me; something I passed on through inherited memory; and/or something I genetically predisposed my adult child to over the years  is in those wise eyes looking back at me. The cursing thrown in my direction has some merit.  On the other hand, I see the incongruent, and unfounded judgment in that cursing, the self-righteousness, the sense of moral superiority. I can see how the cursing comes from an unwholesome and unhealthy place, how it is narrow focused and close minded, I can see how it comes from pain.  I can see what cursing is. It really serves no good. 

I can also see what "sin" is. Not what we were conditioned to believe about "good" and "bad" but in terms of failing to do what is healthy and wholesome for all. "To miss the mark." This so called "sin" is more about a person missing the target of doing what is necessary to become the best person they could be, and triggering the hurt in others by missing this mark. I have learned not to judge people for their mistakes, no matter how big and damaging these mistakes seem to be, to see beyond them to the inherit goodness that is in us all. I see the goodness in my off spring. I will always see the goodness in my off spring. I will still feel and carry the pain of their mistakes, knowing such mistakes come from pain and only bring on more pain. Sigh! 

I feel the pain caused by the this discretion.  I do.  I feel it in the curser. I feel it in the victim of the discretion, ( my heart breaks for this person), I feel it in the person at fault, and I feel it in me.  It weighs heavy on me, weighing me down more than I already was before I heard the news.  I feel a sense of failure. My automatic reactive mind tells me that I failed in my parenting mission to install two things in my children above all else: honesty and kindness. 

Though, I rationally know I am not responsibe for what a 27 year old adult does, whether they came from my body or not, my maternal nature carries the guilt of this choice. Sigh! And the curser ( more of a collective than an individual) obviously wants me to carry this Albatross around my neck. Part of me wants to defend and fight back but the bigger part of me just wants to say, "I understand.  I can emapathize with how much pain you feel and I can understand your wish to shame the offender  and me in an attempt to relieve some of that pain. I have cursed others  in the past and occassionally still do. I understand." 

From a higher perspective though, I want to also tell them that cursing isn't the  healthiest choice for them or anybody else.  It just leads to more pain. At this point, though, I know whatever I say in response will have little effect. 

So, I will likley say nothing, allowing them to think what they must of me and do my best not to get pulled into that expressed opinion. ( Cursing  triggers stuffed and stored wounding, doesn't it? Compelling  us to question ourselves and our own goodness.) I will also do my best to thank the  curser/cursers and bless them for holding the mirror up.

All is well. 

 

Dumpster Diving?

 If you don't get pulled down into the garbage, you get to float back into the ecstacy. 

Michael A. Singer

I believe the above statement, I do. That is one of the reasons I practice yoga.  I am not seeking ecstacy, however, as much as I am wanting peace of mind.  And though I practice regularly and make my sadhanna the most important part of my day...I have yet to experience a steady flow of peace...(though I am experiencing it more and more)...and I still get pulled into the garbage big time, (though much less frequently than I used to and for shorter periods). I am still very much a student in the primary grades of spirituality. 

Life, the Greatest Teacher, is really helping me out with this learning.  (Let me tell ya!)  She is dumping one stinky pile of garbage down in front of me, after another. As I progress spiritually,  this garbage  in front of me seems to be more and more compelling, demanding of my attention.  The garbage from inside, at the same time,  is coming up out of me in peristalic spasms.  I am not sure if each pile coming out of me and each pile Life is placing in front of me, in terms of life circumstance, is getting bigger, stinkier, and more challenging to deal with than the one before it,  or if the accumulation of life long pilings are simply adding up to the point they are creating a mountain in front of me...but Man, it is a challenge to stay centered, in the Seat of Objective Observer. It is pretty yucky around here most times.  

When I do get centered, and I still do with my practice which includes observing how I respond in everyday life, it is a challenge to stay centered. When some intense emotion or memory comes up, or when life throws another challenge at me,  it is difficult to avoid taking yet another dumpster dive. I quickly become swallowed up with  identification with that rubbage I plunged into.  It is just so in my face! This garbage is very  compelling and addictive. 

Sigh! Michael A. Singer also tells us, in the below linked podcast, we, as humans, have a tendency to get pulled down into our emotion, thought, and sensation filled human dramas/ our garbage because they are addictive. Our tendency is to focus and narrow this amazing light of consciousness down into a tiny little beam so it can really get up close and personal with that thing we call "My Life/ My Drama/My Problems". We then identify with what the light is shining on, more than we identify with the light. This narrowed focus pulls us to the point we believe we are what is being illuminated (thoughts, emotions, body-sensations, life circumstance) rather than the  knowing that we are the illuminator. 

Dumspter Diving  has become a life long habit for most of us.    It is a habit, a very strong one.  Habits, I am learning however,  can be broken. We need to first realize that we are attracted to that garbage and that we are the ones diving into it. We are not being pushed! Owning our response-ability means we are recognizing our ability to response in a healthier way, to create better habits. 

I have finished reading Atomic Habits by James Clear, and am now going back through it, studying it, analyzing it, taking notes, examining my current habits and practicing what it suggests etc. As I do , I have this inner knowing, that though it is a guide to creating practical to-do lists ( which I particularly am not a fan of), it is also a guide, whether Clear intended it or not, to creating  a healthy spiritual practice of "to-being". I am going to come back with that correlation at a later date. Great book, by the way. So well written and well researched!!! 

So, as I stick my head up through the pile of rubbage that surrounds me and wipe last months pizza off my face, I admit...I did it again. I admit to the Teacher that I allowed myself to get pulled in again, to bother myself again.Then, I ask, "What did I learn this time about my psyche, about this stuff that pulled me in, this stuff I was shining this amazing light of consciousness on? What did I learn about it, but more importantly what can I learn about the light that was doing the illuminating? " 

Then I pull myself back away from this narrow focus, away from the garbage pile, the dump, this thing I call "my problem". I expand my gaze  and I look around at what is.  It is so amazing! From there,  I trace the amazing focus, the amazing light back to its amazing Source.  I get as close as I can to That, knowing That is who I Am...not this garbage I was focusing on. Tat Tvam Asi. I wait there observing and experiencing Life at a higher level, fully aware that I might be tempted again.  I might plunge again.  I might get lost in the mess again.  And it is all okay.  It's just psyche that does the diving and that gets lost.  Who I am...Tat Tvam Asi is okay. It is the light that observes.  It can never be contaminated by that which I pollute my mind, heart, and body with. 

Hmm...I came up a little quicker this time, I awoke from this dream of garbage submersion a little sooner.  That's progress!

All is well. 

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe ( April 1, 2024) Being: Finding Refuge in the Self. https://tou.org/talks/

 

Just Handle It!

 You are always aware but the problem is you cannot handle what you  are aware of.

Michael A. Singer

The best spiritual practice technique for handling all that  Life gives you, according to Michael A. Singer, is, "handle it". Handle it rather than stuffing and storing. Go through the day without bothering yourself.

All is well.

Be the Self, Not Yourself.

 'You', whose looking, is the Self. You do not have to find yourself.  You are the Self. If it is always you in there, why don't you be your Self?  Be you. Be the Self.

Michael A. Singer

All is well!

Writing Makes Me Tipsy

 You must stay drunk on writing, so reality can not destroy you.

Ray Bradbury

From Singapore to Hong Kong.  Singapore viewers, according to stats, are down to 1 in the last 24 hours and Hong Kong viewers/bots up to 1.5 K. Wow...is it mere coincidence that the influx of so called viewers-we know they are bots- have moved from one geographical area to another that is fairly close to it? And what about these posts that look like they have been opened and read. Were they read? Or do bots just make them look read...do they just tap into them for their own unknown purposes and that is what registers as read? I mean the few blog post pages marked as read certainly do not match 1.5 K  so there might be legitimate readers. I would be happy if one person read a blog entry and got something from it. lol It is all good...as long as nothing malicious is being done by the Hong Kong bots...it is all good. Thank goodness...I have done the work I have done to diminish the ego lol. The numbers mean so little to me. I write for the intoxicating pleasure of writing. I don't need a lot of readers but it would be nice to know there was one or two. :)

All is well.

Atlas

 Atlas

I see you

standing alone

on the western edge

in a never ending time-out.

 The heavens are  heavy.

Your muscles strain

 beneath them

as you shift around

from one leg to the other

awkwardly adjusting

exhausted limbs

to hold the weight.

Stumbling,

 you try to balance

yourself beneath

the crushing gravity

of the Solar System's  orbit

as large droplets of sweat 

form on your furrowed brow,

and drip like dying water falls

to your clenched feet.

The surface beneath you

 becomes even more 

slippery and unstable

with each drop of 

your effort.

You groan and moan,

calling out for help

from the empty space,

a pitiful sound that echoes 

in your own ears.

Alas, there are no more titans

to wipe your face

or to help you carry 

this load for

they are all burning

in  the fires of tartarus....

their punishment for following you.

You, my friend,  are alone in

this wrathful penance

Zues has given you to carry

through eternity.

I wonder

as I watch you, though,

if you must serve out this sentence

until the end of time.

Is there a way to set you free?

What would happen, 

I ask,

if you were to take a deep breath,'

big enough

and slow enough,

to clear the foggy notes 

of conditioned shaming  

from your mind? 

What would happen if you 

 stopped blindly believing 

what you have been taught;

and bravely questioned 

the power and authority

of Zues's verdict?

What would happen if,

 instead of clenching in resistance,

believing you deserved 

this eternal punishment

you so obediently carry,

you relaxed your weary muscles

and let 

the planets roll

like  weightless balls

 from your hands,

into the shunyata that

can easily hold everything

in its vacuum?

I wonder, my friend,

what would happen

if you stopped tensing up,

if you stopped clinging, grasping,

and holding on to

that which is so heavy

and instead you relaxed , 

and let  go  

of this weight you were carrying

for much too long. 

How much lighter 

and freer

would you be?

© Dale-Lyn April 2024

Yoga on Easter

Yoga is the deepest science...it is not about studying what you are looking at...Yoga studies the One that is looking. 

Michael A. Singer ( somewaht paraphrased)

It is a beautiful Easter Sunday in my part of the world.  The sun is shining after days of rain.  I even saw my first Robin this morning.  He landed on the little tree behind me casting his little shadow over my wall until I turned around and there he was, staring in at me as if to say, "Happy Easter/Happy Spring. We are back!" I opened up with that visit. 

I am open now.  As I listen to Michael A. Singer, I open even more. I have never heard a more like minded individual speak. It is like we are sharing the same thought waves lol. It might simply be two westerners understanding or attempting to understand and then share  the fundamentals of yoga that make us like-minded. Maybe it isn't our like-mindedness drawing me to him.  It might just be Yoga doing that. Truth is , I don't know many yogis. I mean, I know people who teach hatha yoga around here but they don't seem to understand what I am sharing or they see it as the "woo-woo" side of yoga and choose not "to go there."I don't know...but man when I listen to Michael A. Singer...it's like, "I see. I see. I see.  I agree. I agree. I agree."  I would love to sit down and talk to someone who thinks like I do...I really would.  It is a bit lonely here in my sadhanna...in my realm of understanding. Sometimes, I feel like an outsider, a 'strange-er' in this community. That is okay.  I know 'I am' actually  not lonely; I am merely observing a psyche that feels alone in this new understanding of things. It won't detere my practice. I am okay with doing this thing I am doing alone but it would be nice to talk to someone who gets it. I imagine being able to sit across the table over tea with someone like Michael Singer and just listen, share, learn, and teach as I grew a bit from that experience.

My crows are calling me: They come to my window to get my attention when they want to be fed and then they make these sounds until I go out to feed them. I am going to ignore them a bit for a few minutes.  They are getting spoiled lol. 

Getting Pulled Away from "I Am"  by Distraction and Identification 

Anyway, today's podcast was on distraction and identification. We, who we are at the deepest level: unchangable, undisturbable, untaintable consciousness, often get distracted by and pulled down into the psyche's "little-me's drama" ...so much so we begin to become identified with it to the point we forget who we are.  We are not that which we are observing or experiencing.  We are that which observes and experiences! I am not that suffering going on around me and in me...I am the consciousness, the Witness that is observing it. You are not the depression, the illness, the addiction, or the grief you are observing or going through...those are just objects of consciousness.  You are the Witness, the Consciousness, the Objective Observer, and the "I am" back here watching what is going on around you and in you. 

Hmm!

That makes all the difference, does it not? 

On this Easter Sunday, whether you are a yogi or not, remember who you are. And remember what Christ taught..."My Father and I are One." That is Yoga!

All is well! 

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe ( March 31, 2024) The Power of Distarction and False Identification. https://tou.org/talks/

Wisdom from Vivekananda

 More words of wisdom from Vivekananda: 

• Until the inner teacher opens, all outside teaching is in vain. page 21
• We are the living books and books are but the words we have spoken  page 38
• Concentration on the powers of the mind is our only instrument to help us see God. If you know one soul ( your own), you know all souls, past, present, and to come....The concentrated mind is a lamp that shows us every corner of the soul.  page 40
• The word God has been used from time immemorial, and the idea of this cosmic intelligence, and all that is great and holy, is associated with it. page 41
• What is the God of Vedanta? He is principle, not person. ...The absolute God of the universe, the creator, preserver, and destroyer of the universe, is impersonal; principle...The Lord is all blissfulness. He is the reality behind all that exists. He is the goodness, the truth in everything. You are His incarnations. That is what is glorious. The nearer you are to Him, the less you will have occassions to cry or weep.
• God is the infinite, impersonal being-ever existent, unchanging, immortal, fearless; and you are all His incarnations, His embodiments. This is the God of Vedanta, and His heaven is everywhere. page 43
• Be grateful to him who curses you, for he gives you a mirror to show what cursing is, also a chance to practice self-restraint; so bless him and be glad. Without exercise, power cannot come out; without the mirror, we cannot see ourselves...page 47

Swami Vivekananda ( 2019) Meditation and Its Methods. General Press ( Kindle Edition)

Psychology Takes Us to the Screen; Yoga Takes Us Beyond It.

 Suppose here is a screen, and behind the screen is wonderful scenery. There is a small hole in the screen through which we can catch only a little bit of the scenery behind. Suppose that hole becomes increased in size. As the hole increases in size, more and more of the scenery behind comes within the range of vision, and when the whole screen has disappeared, there is nothing between the scenery and you; you see the whole of it. This screen is the mind of man. Behind it is the majesty, the purity, the infinite power of the soul, and as the mind becomes clearer and clearer, purer and purer, more of the majesty of the soul manifests itself. Not that the soul is changing, but the change is in the screen. The soul is the unchangeable One, the immortal, the pure, the ever -blessed one. Page 47

I often speak to how Yoga is the ultimate psychology, taking us through the mess of the mind to that which exists behind it.  Psychology, as we know it,  tends to focus on the screen in an attempt to soothe the flickering images on it, in an attempt to fix any holes in it, and in an attempt to preserve it.  Yoga,  on the other hand, attempts to gently wipe those flickering images off the screen, making it as clean and as transparent as possible so we can see and experience the soul behind it. Yoga knows that this screen is in the way of what is truly important. It encourages the hole in the screen of mind to expand and expand until there is no screen,  so we become one with the majestic scenery of spirit. 

This screen is personal mind and like so many other screens it pulls consciousness in and holds onto it to the point we become one with it, assuming we are the screen. 

Indian philosphy: the soul of man is like a piece of crystal, but it takes the colour of whatever is near it....The colour is so strong, the crystal forgets itself and identifies itself with the colour. ...We have taken the colour of the body and forgotten what we are. All our fears, all worries, anxieties, troubles, mistakes, weakness, evil, are from that one great blunder-that we are bodies. page 46

We, of course, suffer with all our grasping, clinging, and pushing away in an attempt to preserve this screen, to prevent it from ripping, when we do that. We have this conditioned tendency to attempt to fix and control what is happening out there so we feel better in here. Yet, Life is determined to do what Life does...sending blow after blow our way.  Not even psychology can help us with that one. 

Unlike contemporary psychology, yoga teaches we are not the screen...we are that which exists behind it. Yoga encourages those blows or challenges to the mind that creates holes. It sees the holes as a positive thing for our growth and eventual freedom. 

Blows are what awaken us and help us to break the dream. They show us the insufficiency of this world and make us long to escape, to have freedom...page 44

Yoga encourages the holes to expand. It wants the screen clean and pure.  It therefore wants the mind to be free and clear of all that is blocking Shakti, that is clouding up our ability to see what is truly real behind this psyche illusion. Our Yoga practice, then, expands the holes.

We need to stop putting all our energy on attempting to stop Life from tearing at these screens of personal mind. We need to welcome the blows,  and the holes, knowing  that who we truly are and what is truly important is that which exists beyond the screen, not on it. 

All is well!

Swami Vivekananda ( 2019) Meditation and Its Methods. General Press ( Kindle Edition)

Mental Schemata

 Even the wise act within the limitations of their own nature. Every creature is subject to prakriti; what is the use of repression? The senses have been conditioned by attraction to the pleasant and aversion to the unpleasant. Do not be ruled by them, they are obstacles in your path. 

The Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 2: 33

This is basically what Singer was talking about in the below linked podcast. He was making it clear that there really is no use for repression or suppression and, in fact, it causes great suffering.  If we want freedom from suffering... we need to decondition our senses, or at least our mind's attachment to them. We need to learn to accept, honor and appreciate all that comes into our experience through these senses. Can we do that?

How are the sense conditioned by attraction to the pleasant and aversion to the unpleasant in the first place?

Well the yogi would say we view and respond to sensory input, therefore Life, through the  lens of our samskaras ( our stuffed and stored life expereinces) and a psychologist might use the term "Mental Schemata". They are basically the same thing. 

What is a mental  schemata, crazy lady, and what has it got to do with our aversion and attractions?

"In psychology, a schema is a mental framework that helps individuals organize, process, and store information about their environment. These mental frameworks are essential for understanding the complexities of the world, as they allow us to interpret new experiences through the lens of pre-existing schemas. (Structural-learning.com)

Interpreting New Experiences Through the Lens of Pre-existing Schemas. 

Attraction

A flock of yellow Grossbeaks have just landed on the tree behind me.  I have not been feeding them here though I once fed them in a place  I lived before and there I had them  almost eating out of my hands. I was attracted and attached to their presence then. I stored those sweet and pleasant experiences in my psyche. "Bird-lover", became a part of my identity because of this experience. I also stuffed and stored that identity inside me. That part of my life, however, had ended. I moved on and I moved here.  If it wasn't for my cats, who won't keep their bell collars on, I would put feeders out here for the birds. But alas, it is as it is. I won'tfeed the birds for their own protection.  Anyway, I have never seen Grossbeaks in this yard before. It surprised me to see them covering this tree this morning. It stimulated a pleasant memory.  Watching these birds was very pleasing  to my senses because of what I have stored inside. My senses, because of the past experience with Grossbeaks, were conditioned to view them as pleasant and to allow this experience in. A  "positive  samskara",  a particular mental schemata,  was the filter through which I viewed this little experience unfolding in front of me this morning. I opened fully to it: Feeling grateful for the visit, accepting, honoring, and appreciating Life in this moment. :)

Aversion

Nothing stays the same. 

As I was having my moment here, afterwards, practicing in what I loosely refer to as "sacred time" to my family,  a suffering individual plopped down into my space and started expressing their anger, their negativity, and their strong  distaste for how life is and was for them.  I have had a long history with such expressed suffering.Their story is something I heard many, many times and it has become a part of my mental schemata. I also have past experiences stored within me where this "expression of feeling" and the "seeking of validation" they tell me they "need to do in this way" has escalated  into something very toxic for all involved. So when I hear a certain tone, a certain expectation of me, a certain list of reasons why they are the way  they are and why they cannot get better coming from them...Slam!...the door closes. It's becoming more and more automatic. Why? My overactive amygdala warns me and tells me to close down for self protective reasons.  The whirlwind of  many different untamed emotions, all with their own virbration or nature (prakriti), too often in the past, was blown both intentionally and unintentionally in my direction. I was overwhelmed by it too many times. It left me with this belief that this persons emotions and subsequent choices can be strong enough to blow the strongest person down or suck one in completely. I am therefore physically told by almost every cell in my body, not just the sensory neurons,  to shut down! My senses, therefore,  have become  conditioned to pick up signs that would likley go unnoticed in other situations, by other people, and the moment my senses detect those signs I go into self protection mode...especially when I am feeling as phyiscally exhausted and vulnerable as I feel now.  So this morning, just a few minutes after the pleasant opening expereince I had because of bird visitors, I found myself closing.  The moment the person sat down in my space and I heard that tone,  I found my gut twisting, as it does when I am closing and resisting in aversion. I don't seem to have enough oompf in me these days to tolerate it, let alone handle it in the way a higher being would. I feel like injured prey and I need to hide. Sounds so dramatic, doesn't it?  

When I break it down for objective examination, I see that this individual, just trying to express themself in their mind, was simply triggering some "negative samskaras", and a mental schemata that pre-existed  in my mind. They are not the cause of my suffering, not the casue of my closing...just a trigger finger on the automatic door of my psyche. My senses would not let them all the way  in. because something was telling me it would be dangerous, or at least even more physically exhausting,  to do so. I did not want to add to this person's suffering by closing down but the aversion to that behaviour has become  a conditioned response.  The slamming of the door of the senses, because of my physical fatigue and my desperate need for healing through this sadhanna,  has become so automatic.

I want to be a being that stays open , no matter what...a being that is not ruled by their senses.  That begins with recognizing and understanding how these senses have been conditioned, to understand why my mind sees certain things as pleasant and lets them in and why it sees others things as unpleasant and closes up to them. 

My practice continues.

All is well.

The Bhagavad Gita as translated by Eknath Easwaran ( 2007)  The Bhagavad Gita. Nilgiri Press...Kindle Edition.

Stuctural-learning.com ( May 5, 2023) What is a schema in psychology.  https://www.structural-learning.com/post/schema-in-psychology#:~:text=In%20psychology%2C%20a%20schema%20is,lens%20of%20pre-existing%20sche

Michael A. Singer/Temple of the Universe ( March 29, 2024) Step Back and Be open to Reality. https://tou.org/talks/